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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am i alone on this? (long winded)

27 replies

Becky1967 · 02/05/2008 09:50

Yes, i have changed my details for this post, read on and you will understand why. Have been in talk for several months now and have been encouraged by the amount of support & understanding that people are able to give no matter what the situation (serious or just embarrassing). Firstly i know that this is trivial compared to many of the issues that are raised here and therefore comes under the embarrassing genre but this is something that i am struggling to understand about myself.Here goes.. my ex boyfriend used to occasionally be quite rough when we had sex, not all the time but sometimes. He would spank me and pull my hair and generally be quite harsh. i didn't really like it that much but i knew he really did so i didn't mind. My husband of ten years (3 snooks)has always been very tender and when we make love it is always very sensual & loving which i like very much.
But (there had to be a but!)for the last 2 or 3 years i have had found myself craving what i occasionally had with my ex, i have tried to put this to dh but to no avail and i don't understand why i want to be manhandled in such a way as i didn't particularly like it at the time! What's wrong with me? My ex was very much a man's man and DH is more of your archetypal "new man". As much as i love my DH and our intimacy sometimes i just want to be "taken" and shagged hard! what does this say about our marriage and my feelings towards my ex, i am totally over him, it was me who ended it but he enters my fantasies more & more.
Help!
Becks holds head in hands and awaits responses with trepidation.

OP posts:
Becky1967 · 06/05/2008 08:48

OMG!! Well fortified by Rioja and encouraged by the various encouragements from fellow Mumsnetters i went for it last night.
Asked by DH how i was doing when he returned home from the pub i replied that i was fine but would be altogether better if he would f me as hard he could right there, right now. That stopped him in his tracks! It could have all gone embarrassingly wrong from there if i hadn't anticpated his stunned silence and been ready for it, i just walked towards him (a bit unsteady, i hadn't skimped on the dutch courage!!) kissed him, whispered a few encouraging & suitable saucy things in his ear which i'll spare you the details of then stood there hand on hips and asked him again if he was going to "f me hard or not?"

To my immense relief he got the message, my confident veneer was on the point of evaporating totally and i wouldn't have been able to ask him again if he hadn't.
It wasn't completely straightforward though, such was his enthuaiasm that he caused me to crack my head on one of the chairs so i am sporting a rather fetching bruise just above my left eye!!
So wouldn't you know, my caring sensitive new man dh has a bit of the animal about him!!

OP posts:
jackrabbit · 06/05/2008 09:52

told you! it works for me and i didn't think he'd be able to resist.

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