Christmas let downs

[WolfFleece]

I wasn’t expecting a lot from Christmas, I had the flu in the run up to it and was only just back on my feet so wasn’t feeling very ready or festive. But 3 things have kind of side swiped me a bit. Just having a general moan and feeling a bit lonely and sad at the moment.

1. had the annual family meet up at my dad’s house. Me, my siblings, partners, my dd, my dad’s wife. His wife has done a stellar job of driving a wedge between my dad and kids, big backstory with that, I was pretty close to him before she came along. Anyway, about 5 years ago they got married abroad. Me and siblings had no idea it was happening until we got a WhatsApp from my dad with a photo of the happy couple. Dad’s story was always that it was just the two of them there, but at the meal the other day his wife let slip that they’d had 6 guests. I didn’t actually hear that comment or I’d have asked who they were, but other family members did hear and it has become a bit of a talking point. I’m going to assume it’s very likely that these guests included dad’s wife’s adult children…and maybe their partners. I need to fact check this, I’ll just ask dad straight, but if true then it’s even more hurtful than finding out your dad got married via WhatsApp.

2. the person I considered my best friend always comes to me for Christmas. We live in the same small town, she’s come here every year for the last 8 years, with her DD who is best friends with my DD. I assumed we’d be doing that as usual, but she said this year her dd wanted to stay at home, and the DD wouldn’t budge on that, so that’s what they were doing. Have checked with her many times over the last couple of months but she’s kept saying the same thing, so I made arrangements to see family instead. On Christmas Eve I was having a messenger conversation with my friend, and she accidentally sent me a screenshot which gave away the fact that she was actually spending Christmas Day with some different friends, people she’s got to know quite recently. I am really hurt by this, I don’t care what she does and if she’d have just said that she wanted to spend Christmas with them this year I’d have been fine with that, but I HATE being lied to. I think it’s true that her DD did want to spend Christmas at home, but when my friend got invited over there she was like tough shit DD, that’s what we’re doing. I feel like our friendship is pretty much over now, I can’t say I’m surprised as she’s been binning me off in favour of these new people for a while. Also I’d got her some really thoughtful gifts, thankfully hadn’t seen her to give them to her yet, and she said a few days before Christmas that she was broke and can we do Christmas presents in February. I said I’d got her stuff but don’t worry, if she’s broke I don’t need anything from her. But I’d imagine she’d found the money to buy presents for the new friends she saw yesterday, and their kids. Priorities I guess 🤷‍♀️

3. I am housesitting for someone from tomorrow, my DP has gone to his home country for Christmas, and was supposed to be flying back tomorrow to join me. Would have been a nice break with him in a nice house over new year, away from my (older teen/adult) children. But now he’s staying there longer because there’s work that needs doing in his mum’s house. Compared to the other two points above this is not so bad, but was looking forward to hanging out with him, and house sitting is a bit boring on your own.

Moan over.

My dad said at the time they hadn’t had any guests. But it turns out they did, and this has only just come to light. So he lied, I’d imagine because those guests were her kids and partners, maybe her parents. They definitely were from her side anyway. I’d also be pretty sure that they’d have paid for her kids to be there, it was a luxury long haul destination and her kids would have been unlikely to afford to go otherwise. My dad is the one with the money out of the two of them, although I guess it’s her money too now.

@MyNimbleViewer you edited your comment so my response makes no sense now, but yes we’re not close, we get summoned together once a year around Christmas (it was a few days before Christmas, not the day itself).

Yeah I’d say it’s pretty selfish to spend the first part of Christmas afternoon in the pub, then making her DD go to these people’s house when she didn’t want to. DD was stalking her via snap maps yesterday and they were there until gone midnight. So bearing in mind her DD wanted to spend the day at home, they didn’t actually spend any time at home past 12pm when the pub opened.

huh? We’ve been home all day. My DD doesn’t actually mind going to the annual meet up, she likes to see her uncles and she feels sadly honoured to be allowed over there for an evening.

That is a possibility.

Oh I did like her, very much. We’ve been best friends for a long time. She definitely makes some questionable choices though and sometimes it’s hard to support her through them. Eg one half of the couple she spent yesterday with is about to go to prison for some pretty hefty amounts of drug dealing. It’s a lot of drama.

I definitely will be fact checking next time I speak to him. But two people that were there heard it loud and clear.

Yes as I’ve said multiple times, I will be checking with him. But two family members clearly heard his wife say they had 6 guests, and we were previously told by my dad there were no guests.

And no, it wasn’t a last minute arrangement with my friend, turns out it was something she’d arranged a good few weeks before Christmas, but just didn’t tell me. And it wasn’t popping over for a drink, it was going to the pub with them, then back to theirs after the pub for Christmas dinner, then spending the rest of the day/night there until midnight.

14, my eldest was away for Christmas at her dad’s.

I don’t blame you for being upset and feeling let down that two people you trusted, your best friend and dad have lied to you and been a bit shit. Also you were expecting to see your dp over Chris and now won’t.

Tjings are always heightened and magnified at this time of year - there’s so much pressure to be happy and jolly and having a wonderful time!

Learn from this re your friend: she’ll drop you like a hot brick if she gets a “better” offer. Pull back and don’t be so available.

Try to put it behind you now though and make the best of the rest of Christmas with your dd - make your own fun x

Because she told me on Christmas Eve, but only after she’d accidentally dropped herself in it. Then DD was messaging her DD who confirmed that it’s been arranged since November. Her DD was obviously told by her mother not to mention anything about it to my DD…not the first time she’s done that.

Thank you. My expectations are pretty low when it comes to Christmas, I’m not a Christmassy person at all, but I feel pretty let down even by my standards x