No contact MIL

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Went no contact in the summer after years of not getting on. Summer came and mil shouted at me in front of my children which was the final straw.

anyone gone no contact long term? How has it been? DH is only child and DD’s are both young (under 9) additionally mil is a widow.

Just wanting to hear from others of how they have managed to it.

I am NC with my mum. It’s wonderful. I mean it’s completely shit that life had to turn out this way. I’d rather have my mum still in my life and be emotionally stable and safe to be around. But she’s not. She’s a whirling cauldron of chaos and dysfunction and it’s just not possible to have her in our lives and be well and happy ourselves. My children come first so she had to go.

There’s nothing I really do to manage it. We moved and didn’t tell her where we were going, so she doesn’t know where we live. The only thing I am careful about is not checking my email on days when I’m not feeling in the right headspace to get an email from her (she only emails me, oddly). It’s only a few times a year, usually my birthday, Mother’s Day and Christmas. Just to tell me how shit I am and give me an update on who has died and how long it’s been since she saw my dc last. I just simply don’t check my email around those dates. I don’t ever respond or engage in any way.

No one else in the family has any relationship with her anyway (I have no other family and Dh certainly doesn’t want to talk to her). I imagine it’s a bit different though if your Dh maintains a relationship with his mum or you might run into her at family events, etc. Most of my mum’s friends have also cut ties with her, so we would not bump into each other anywhere.

I told DH that his Mother was his business and to leave me out of everything.
The DC were around 10 and 13 and she DID message DD on her phone - until she tired some emotional blackmail and I messaged her to say if she did it again she would be blocked on DD's phone.
DH didn't bother much and used to to take the DC down a week before xmas.
I have thawed a bit lately and we went to SIL's yesterday BUT I still leave everything MIL related to DH

DH has contact still it’s just me that doesn’t as life is too short for the drama, the shouting etc. just don’t want the aggravation in my life.

it’s tricky stuff like Christmas as mil is on her own.

Went no contact for too many reasons to list over 10 years ago. Not having to deal with crazy, manipulative bullshit is bliss.

Dh doesn't speak to her either. If he wanted to have a relationship with her then that's on him but as long as he doesn't involve me or our children then it's fine (and the reason I don't let mil see the children is because I can't trust her around them as she's an alcoholic religious extremist - a very intrenched one).

Im low contact. After years of advising, interfering, suggesting and making assumptions the last straw was a couple of months ago. She had invited herself over and bombarded me with suggestions of how to make my life better which ended up with her shouting at me as I dont have any formal hobbies and I want to work part time because I have a serious illness.
Low contact for me means not replying at all to any group messages on whattsapp.
When she then sends me an email I respond as if its a work email and I dont offer any opinions.
When she then tells my husband I am having a breakdown on the group chat I ignore it.
I wont answer the door if she arrives uninvited and if she tries to let herself in, I make sure the keys are in the door.
I just dont engage with her on any level.
I feel ok about it. I wished I had done this sooner to be honest. I look back and all I see is overbearing, constant advice, suggestions and superiority. I was worried DH would try to pacify her by telling me the age old 'she means well' and 'its just how she is' but thankfully he hasnt but I am aware she is his mother and he is close to his parents.
MIL has put all the blame for this on me which isnt surprising. She has said I am at a low ebb (untrue) and I misundertand things and I am v v stressed. She has taken no responsibility for her own contribution and behaviour. That just reinforces the justification that low contact is best.
Id say make a plan for yourself and steely manage the reactions.

That’s her own doing though. DH can see her and do whatever with her if he is so inclined, you owe this woman nothing if that’s what you choose

I went no contact with the mother-in-law for almost 10 years after she was downright nasty to me and encouraged one of my step-kids to also be nasty and try to split me and their parent up. We'd been together for 4 years at the point of that happening. MiL didn't like me on sight and thought I would influence her child and grandchildren away from her.
I only started to see her again when she apologised, having realised that I was behind her precious grandchildren still going to see her regularly until they went to uni. Since then she has been Very Nice! Honestly though, I still keep my guard up as I don't trust her an inch.