Companionship without sex

[LilyAnn13]

Do you think it´s possible to ask for this on a dating app?
I´m female, in my early 50s and I like the idea of meeting someone, but only for companionship because I no longer feel like sex.

Isn’t that called friendship?

I think it's unrealistic, although saying that, I have recently started a relationship with someone who is happy to date whether we have sex or not.

It's great, not having that pressure.

I feel exactly the same OP so interested to find out the answer too!

Yes it’s fine to state that I think.

There are some dating sites for asexual people too I think.

Companionship isn't really the same as friendship

You could try some apps to meet friends around your area instead of dating apps because then you both know what you will be looking for on a platonic app. All the best 💐

No, more than friendship.
Love, affection, but just no sex

I think asexuality is a bit different from someone who is not asexual but who no longer wants or tolerates sex

Yes of course. There are men with low libidos, asexual or don't want sex for some reason.

Make it clear on your dating profile that you want celibacy.

Is it though? In effect it's the same

Yes, good point, but I want to remain open to the idea of a relationship at some point and it´s been forever since I have been attracted to someone or had someone feel attracted to me. It`s just that I don´t want it right away.

I think you can ask or state your preferences for whatever you like. It’s an honest way to go. Whoever answers knows upfront your thinking. Good luck.

Tbh OP you’ll find quite a lot of men in your age bracket who have ED issues so sex isn’t always on the cards.

Maybe avoid the likes of Tinder and POF which seem to attract men looking for hook ups and casual sex (in my limited experience) and try Bumble of Hinge.

Be clear in your profile what you’re looking for but also be prepared for messages saying ‘I know you’re not looking for sex but..,.’

Yeah this?

It’s possible to have friends, but you’re unlikely to find a friend via online dating

Not if you kiss, cuddle and hold hands but don’t have any sexual contact.

Put it up, date, if anyone tries anything on just say no and that’s it. It’s about boundaries really. You set them and maintain them.

I think finding someone happy to kiss and cuddle but not have sex will be difficult.

You'll also likely be lining yourself up to have men say they want the same thing whilst trying very hard to get in your knickers.

Probably not impossible, but very difficult.

Friendships / room mates like the Golden Girls might be easier.

Is it that you don't want sex though, or just don't want sex with the men around your age on the dating sites?
I ask because for me it's definitely the latter.
I love sex but absolutely don't fancy most men my age or older on OLD.
I can fancy decent guys my age I meet IRL but mostly they are married for good reason.

Realistically I don't think there are men in their 50s looking for this, sorry.

I doubt the OP would be interested in that either so it wouldn't be an issue.

It wasn’t a good point tbh. Companionship isn’t just friendship

Yeah that's the thing. The OP wants a relationship that is functionally asexual; where the two partners relate to each other in an asexual way. So what difference does it make how they got to that point - whether they "identify" as asexual or are actually something else but just don't want to have sex?

I've heard this sort of thing from a few other people - that they definitely don't want sex in a relationship but they don't consider themselves asexual. It's like they specifically want a relationship with sexual energy, but they don't want that energy to be satisfied (or maybe, rather, they don't want to feel under pressure to satisfy it).

That seems unlikely to be appealing to someone else unless they want the same paradoxical combination. And even then it would seem unstable, because either partner could tip towards wanting satisfaction at any time.

Surely this is sexual contact. You wouldn't do it with a friend.