Break up - devestated , no contact

[CandidPombear]

Hello - I am a mum of two and separated from my ex husband 4 years. I met and fell in love with somone else and now he has broken up with me . I am utterly devastated and keep texting. Please help me .

Concentrate on your kids having a wonderful time and forget about him/her

Sorry you’re struggling with the end of the relationship. Sometimes it’s even harder with the one after your ‘main’ relationship.

How long were you with him, and why did you break up?

Stop texting right now. It won’t help. You are probably making it worse.
I am sorry, break ups are so hard. Play some break up songs and have a sniffle. Once again. Stop contacting him.

Sorry to hear that, did he give you a reason/closure to why he ended it?
I wouldn't message him, it's hard going through another break up again since your marriage ended but it will be fine, you can concentrate on you and the kids.

Stop texting him its over you need to move on.
Concentrate on being a mum and stay single until you have healed.

Concentrate on your children first, think about what you would say/how you would want them to act/behave in your shoes - remember they will learn from you. Show them a good strong mum in the face of adversity and how to cope with knock backs in life in a positive way. The right person will come along for you he was not the right one. Some self love is needed.

Stop harassing him with texts as he’ll just block you which would be the advice if the boot was on the other foot.

Concentrate on you DC rather than chasing a man who isn’t interested and step away from dating until you’re in a better headspace .

Focus on your children, not your love life!

Agree with the last two posters.

Also are you saying you’re not even divorced yet but you entered into another serious relationship?

Why? Genuinely curious as to why people do this assuming you’re in the UK where divorces can be fairly quick. Was that part of the reason for the split?

A lot of decent men won’t entertain a still married woman.

Help you how?

I think you are romanticising this man and putting him on a pedestal. Sometimes short intense relationships are hard to let go because they haven't got to the routine more low key phase. It's cut off in It's prime so the temptation is to think that is how it would always be.

Messaging him and him potentially blocking you is going to hurt you more so grab some control back and walk away.

Help you with what?, stop texting, leave the poor man alone, get on with your life, concentrate on your kids.

It sounds like you’re suffering from rejection sensitivity or an abandonment trauma response. Look these up. Knowledge is power. Feel better soon. Hug

Stop texting him as hard as this is you are making the heartache even harder for yourself.
Get rid of all reminders of him delete his phone number , get rid of clothing absolutely everything.
Go no contact for 30 days promise yourself you are not going to contact him .
You will start to move on but please stop texting you will look desperate .
You cant force someone to change their mind so change you x

As painful as it is, when time
passes by your going to realise this relationship
wasn't right and regret texting him.

delete him number and all signs of him.
Then get yourself a project.
good luck. I know it sucks but I promise it gets easier 💐

Some of these responses are a little harsh.

OP, you just have to ride it out, there's no magic solution. You can't keep harassing him though, so block and delete his number to stop the temptation of contacting him. Keep busy, exercise, try some meditation to come down from that high alert feeling.

It sounds as if this relationship was too much after a big break up. I'd definitely consider giving it some time before getting into anything else. Sometimes we don't know that we're not ready until you end up feeling this way.

I think you’re saying you’ve been split up 4 years so I’d guess this relationship was a big deal and you had lots of hopes and dreams and no wonder it’s hit you hard. I’m so sorry. How long were you together? Hard as it is the best thing u can do is no contact. You will feel better - you will move on if you force yourself to and in the long run you’ll feel you kept your dignity.