Is this a red flag comment?

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

One of my close friends uses the dating apps. She’s lovely and deserves a good man. I told her not many of them are from there. If they are there in small numbers. She wanted to go on a date with this one guy.
She was previously larger. Now, she’s into running and yoga and Pilates. She’s worked really hard and is now approx 50 something kg. Was once around 80 something.
Apparently he was large too. He said to her “I need to see your before pictures at some point. I promise I’ll do my best not to laugh”
She looks pretty good now and worked very hard. I really admire her. I said he sounds like an idiot and that comment would just PMO. But I’m a one stroke and you’re out kind of woman.
She is like a little sister to me though and I’m a bit too protective. She’s 27 im 29.
Thoughts?

Why would he find her pictures of being 80kg funny?

That would piss me off too. Shows he lacks in mental maturity

Just annoying isn’t it. Like grow up will you. I reckon he was testing the water with her. It’s why I hate the apps. Men are so full of it.

She’s done this over the course of like 2/3 years. I don’t think fat people are funny and it’s not nice to belittle her like that.

He’s probably stupid.

He wants to laugh at her! Massive red flag, avoid

It seems to me that you should probably butt out. What matters is whether or not she finds him annoying. It's almost impossible to tell how much you're going to like someone before you've met them if you're online dating, so having random friends sticking their oar isn't going to be helpful.

You see, I would see this as potentially a harmless comment. As a fellow fatty, he may well have built up a defence mechanism of laughing at his own previous fat photos.

If that’s an exact quote, I don’t love how it’s phrased, but maybe in the context of discussing a past experience they have in common it could have been joke-y? I’d go with HER gut on this; if she asked you about it because it bothered her then that’s a bad sign, but if she wasn’t bothered I wouldn’t make a big deal about it.

She just screenshot it and said “is this red flag behaviour” so me being me said. Well it depends how’s the convo been. She said normal, talking about being fat before. He said he’s now carrying more round his mid and doesnt like it. I think it could be he finds his past his past. But as a woman. I think one should show more tact. I would probably say “you look great now but maybe we can laugh together at our fat pics” ya know

That’s actually very feasible too.

If it got her radar up, it's worth taking note of.

Not sure why she's discussing her weight loss with someone she's not even met yet though, it seems a bit silly? "Hey stranger, here's something I'm sensitive about, let's see if you use it against me".

Although I suppose not silly if you act on what they show you about themselves...

He will think she will put the weight on again in the future and I’d bet this will be his deciding point on wether he wants just sex or a relationship.
He sounds like an idiot .
Id say well it’s difficult for me not to laugh at how you look now tbh.

Probably just a thoughtless throwaway comment rather than a red flag, but any more in a similar vein might be enough to induce wariness.

To see the best side as he's been larger himself, he probably got a bit over familiar with his humour, I wouldn't find it funny either but it depends on his personality overall if that was just one careless comment. 80kg isn't that big though, she shouldn't make much of an issue about it if it's sensitive to her, i remember telling a guy once I lost 2 stone and he almost seems grossed out by it, just show's immaturity of some but this guy has lost weight himself so hoping he's not actually serious about laughing at her.

Agree with this. It does seem some people talk about far too much personal stuff before even meeting with OLD and it creates a false sense of intimacy and boundary crossing.

Don’t be having these sort of chats until s couple of actual dates in imo. Until you’ve met face to face, it’s impossible to gauge someone’s comments.