6 months ago I left my abusive marriage. I had a thread on here at the time, and I've posted a few times under various names about different abusive incidents with my exH over the last few years.
Something I just saw on TV reminded me of something that happened with my exH before I left him, and I found myself on here, reading those old threads. It's been a long and difficult 6 months, and I don't think I really realised quite how far I've come just until now.
18 months ago, I quite literally couldn't imagine life without him. I didn't think I could cope on my own with 3 kids, I had absolutely zero confidence, no faith in my ability to get a better job after 2 very close maternity leaves. He had become my whole world and I was so enmeshed I couldn't see how much he was destroying me and eroding my self esteem.
Now here I am, in my own house, with a great new job, surrounded by friends and loving single parent life with my three wonderful kids. It's not always easy, but I feel so much stronger and at peace. Our home is happy and calm. I'm more patient with the kids. If I ever do get a bit cross with them, or if preteen DD has a little strop about something, it's blown over in 5 minutes and we have cuddles and move on, nobody is punished for days with the silent treatment or worse. We're never on eggshells. Everything feels so much lighter and easier, even though I'm doing it all by myself.
So I just wanted to take this moment to say a huge thank you to all the women on MN who posted support and encouragement on all those threads, for helping me see what was happening to me and helping me find the strength to leave him. I'll be grateful forever. I never thought I'd get to this point, but here I am.
And for anyone reading this who's wondering if they're in an abusive relationship and if they should leave, or who wants to leave but is scared to - please know that, however hard it feels right now, you CAN do it and there's a happier life waiting for you on the other side. You're strong enough and you're worth more.
Merry Christmas!