Who else has had it with the relatives now. 🤪

[CheekySnake]

Mother invited herself to stay with us for Xmas. Hasn't spent Xmas with us for 20 years. I was happy with that.

Have spent the day sat next to her in living rooms as she sniffs, snorts, burps and coughs without covering her mouth whilst hammering away at her iPad and giving unwanted running commentary on the TV.

Then offered cheese and crackers for post dinner snack. She took the entire piece of blue cheese we had and ate it. Didn't ask if anyone else might want some. Hacked it into pieces and ate the lot.

I am about ready to commit gbh and she's here until Friday.

This is one of the reasons I’m so glad we never moved far from home.
MIL was here for about 4 hours, awkward as anything but DH has taken her home and now I can really chill.

Yep. I have MIL who started taking one the kitchen and cooking from scratch despite me having bought all the Christmas food ready made.

With commentary- eg.. Well WE have done well this is home-made etc. Argh.

I've just taken DF back to his hotel when he started on "the global coverup"

They’re here till Friday. Is it possible to get the ick with in laws??!

MIL (in front of FIL and BIL) asked me if I’ve had any signs of the menopause and if my monthly bleeding is still regular 😳 WTAF!!

I would have no compunction in sending her home first thing tomorrow morning at her expense. You would not put up with this behaviour from a friend and your mother is no different. never have her darken your door again .

Well I have the ick with my mother. So I would say yes.

Oh dear, you just described me in my own home pahahahahaha

In the morning I'd be succumbing to a debilitating migraine and get your oh to take her home.

Went to the in-laws today for lunch, last time
sister in laws new fiancé absolute twat !!
very over familiar I have only met him twice but calling elderly in laws mum and dad
sat swearing at the table
got on a heated discussion about lack of housing his solution was to send all immigrants back , he couldn’t see that housing is so expensive because of a lack of supply
absolute twat of a bloke , my Sil seems to adore him so who am I to judge

Me too
Why do people put theirselves through this?
You do know that if there are no consequences for bad behaviour, people will still do it.
Set boundaries and stop enabling.

We have hardly ever hosted anyone over Christmas, partly because we don't live near enough to family. There are pros and cons to that, as clearly already being set out in this thread.

I haven't actually experienced the awful behaviour some people here are describing but if I did I would want the perpetrator to leave and they certainly wouldn't ever be getting a return invitation.

Because she was very suddenly widowed not long ago (it was a very very late stage cancer diagnosis and he died in a matter of weeks, a horrible and distressing end) and we are still figuring out how to manage things in the new normal. Her natural instinct has been to turn to family (despite not having much of a relationship with us).

Did I write this and forget ?! Oh my gosh exactly the same here but not going any time soon xx

Her natural instinct was to turn to you because she sees your H (him in particular) and you as a soft touch. She has indeed behaved appallingly since she arrived and until now you had not celebrated Christmas with her for 20 years, something you were also happy about. She should go home today rather than tomorrow.

That is absolutely heartbreaking….i totally feel for her …,,but my original post still stands.
I support a lovely old lady 90 plus…,but she can be absolutely awful to her daughter.., she can’t do that to me because she know I can walk away …as does my other friend who helps out.
( its like a community thing on our street - we look out for each other )
and yes she’s come some Christmas days - but she’s gone by 4 her choice ..

This is a bit harsh for eating some cheese and bad table manners!

It’s far more than that.

Yep sick of them for years my mum has prioritised her DH and his family at Christmas (think Christmas eve, Christmas day and new years day with them only). It's all arranged in advance as a done deal so even when I ask her to come up ours it's a no.

We don't see her until she rocks up in boxing day to have a "second Christmas" with us which is the last thing we want. I then have to spend all boxing day morning scrubbing the house top to bottom as she is very judgy on houses and it's a tip after Christmas. We are all shattered by boxing day as we have 3 kids (2 nuerodivergent ones who are a nightmare in December).

We miss the annual fun kids event that happens. I asked her weeks ago for a time as there was something on we wanted to do with the kids today only to be told yesterday what time she was descending on us. Yep as guessed right over the event time.

We are the bottom of the priority list over her dh, MIL and his adult kids every fucking year!!!! She never invites us to her house either. My middle child is 8 and my youngest is 5 and they have never had a sleepover with her (her husband's grandkids have though).

Next year it's no she comes when it suits us or doesn't. Boxing day isn't it. I am done with being last. I am currently sat here in PJ's after cleaning for 3 hours (me and DH together) feeling wrecked and knowing we have to get dressed.

I’ve still got more to come.
I’ve got to spend a couple of days with my controlling, loves the sound of her voice sister in law.
It’s not until the weekend but I’ve already for a stress headache about it.