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Relationships

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Xmas gift advice

11 replies

Hailey42 · 25/12/2024 15:30

Ive been with my partner for 8 months. I’m very happy with him especially after having been in an abusive relationship for many years.
There is one thing that makes me feel uncomfortable and that is the huge difference in our salaries. He earns around 7,000 and I earn about 1,700. I’m worried that whatever gift I buy will never be good enough. He likes high end brands where a coat alone is worth 1,000 and obviously I can’t afford that.
He has a bag which he uses daily that looks worse for wear and I’d like to get him a new one but I’m not sure if that’s a nice gift idea or not ?
I also bought him a lovely polo shirt that I’m sure he’ll like.
I think I have difficulty with this as my ex was very psychologically abusive towards me especially about things I’d buy and now I feel nothing is good enough.

OP posts:
pizzaHeart · 25/12/2024 15:31

When do you plan to exchange gifts?

calmandcollected101 · 25/12/2024 15:32

It's not about how much you earn.
I used to earn much less than DH when we were dating. He was taking in around 40k monthly, me 2k.
I just used to get him practical things like slippers, bake , nice men's skincare

Just keep it simple and don't stress!

TTPDTS · 25/12/2024 15:32

I'm sure your partner will enjoy the gifts - if you can't afford things that he can buy for himself, I wouldn't get him cheaper versions - I'd buy something he'd like that you can afford. Then it'll be something he appreciates rather than something he might need to replace.

Clocksprings · 25/12/2024 15:41

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MauveGoose · 25/12/2024 15:41

You've already got him something why get him a bag too? Don't feel bad about your salary - you've been together 8 months am sure he likes you for you and not because of what you earn. If you must get him another present, why not something meaningful or something he needs? For my first Xmas with DH I got him a nice alarm clock and my favourite book - he'd been talking about needing a clock and we like to share the art/music/literature that we are into.

Even now we have a £100 limit for gifts for each other. Buying lots of gifts doesn't have to be how you show love.

BCBird · 25/12/2024 15:44

Don't stress over it. Buy him.something that you know he will like. The fact that it is not mega expensive I'm sure will be irrelevant. If the situation was reversed I bet you would not be bothered

Idontjetwashthefucker · 25/12/2024 15:53

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Wow, how charming

BettyBardMacDonald · 25/12/2024 16:03

Bags are so personal and he may like the battered/weathered look.

Small but thoughtful items are fine. What pastimes does he enjoy?

Hailey42 · 25/12/2024 16:25

He loves Greek mythology I wanted to get him a book but have no idea which one to get

OP posts:
TTPDTS · 25/12/2024 16:32

Hailey42 · 25/12/2024 16:25

He loves Greek mythology I wanted to get him a book but have no idea which one to get

The Stephen Fry "Mythos" is a good book on Greek mythology, and a bit of a different one so he might not have it?

TTPDTS · 25/12/2024 16:33

There's also a full series of them if he likes it!

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