Husband massive spending

[christmas00stressballs]

Need advice on how to react and very hard not to be outing and I know people on here.

We struggle financially. Our mortgage has just increased by hundreds but wages haven't. I was preparing to tighten our belts and have no holidays (not that we have been able to afford to go abroad for 8 years).
DH just surprised me with a holiday abroad. Not just any holiday. A holiday of a lifetime for all 4 of us. I'm in shock and annoyed he hasn't discussed this with me. We have no savings so he must have just put it all on the credit card. It will be thousands without the spending money. WTF?!

How would you react? I haven't yet. Just said nothing aside from he should have discussed it with me. He is going to break us. We already struggle and have 2 cars we struggle to maintain.

He needs to cancel it. You need to have v strong words about him spending your money.

The first post says it all.

I kind of understand why he's done it but it's downright ridiculous given your financial circumstances.

You should leave him before he gets you all further into debt and expects you all to foot the bill

I can't believe he has done this. I always thought it would be something I read about (no offence to anyone obvs - I have posted under a different name about relationship struggles). I don't want to ruin Christmas he has a fiery temper so I don't think I'll bring it up today.

Erratic or impulsive spending can be an indication of other issues such as mental health problems or excessive drug use, is there other stuff going on?

@teenmaw no he just thinks he deserves everything. No drugs or anything.

So I'm still at a loss as what to do. I have no family for support. I don't have many friends because I'm so busy I actually have no free time to socialise because I'm always with the kids.
I feel awful right now. Obviously DH made a big announcement and the kids are really excited.

Does he understand your financial situation?

Is this Disney?

Tell him he needs to take night shifts at a supermarket to pay for it.

Have you asked him how he intends on paying for it?

Is it refundable - find out now. If so cancel it!

Is he aware how much you are struggling? Maybe he thinks you're ticking along okay, especially if you’ve not discussed your finances recently.

I think you need to acknowledge the gesture, but then sit down and explain the situation.

Use the MSE budget planner to work out where you stand. See realistically if you can afford it. Ie. Have a reasoned conversation about finances. It’s never pretty, but you all need to be aware of where you stand. Sometimes it’s easy for one party to ge aware, and not the other.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/

So the fiery temper is a concern too, do you feel able to tell us more about that?

It sounds as good the is burying his head in the sand OP. How is he planning on funding this ?
You sound afraid of him . Does he often behave irrationally ? Has he a drug / gambling habit he’s hiding ?
I think your focus should be stopping your home from being re possessed . If it has gone up by hundreds a month that’s a real possibility if you don’t act now.
Look at your finances and get him to talk. If he won’t you may need to rethink this marriage. A roof over your children’s heads beats a holiday any day

I’m worried about this ‘fiery temper’. Especially as you seem scared of him.