Last year, after Christmas I went back to work exhausted, feeling like an unappreciated skivvy to the whole family. I had done all the planning, presents (buying and wrapping for the whole family). Menu planning,food buying and cooking. Organising all the social events, Christmas surprises, inclusing looking after my ill MIL amd workng a high pressure full time role. Everyone had a brilliant time (except me) and only one person said thanks and it wasn't my husband or my kids.
There were other issues in our marriage and Christmas was symptomatic of them. I said no more - i had had enough. Honestly, he was totally shocked I was willing to leave our marriage "over Christmas". We started couples counselling.
Fast forward to this his Christmas Eve - all the presents have been bought/wrapped/distributed by both of us. He has taken more time off work to sort the food shop (all prepared so less work tomorrow) and amused the kids so i could finish my work. He has taken the kids out and I am going for a massage. Our marriage is in a much better place. I have had to resist doing too much by default (old habits die hard). Tomorrow might not be perfect but so what?
I can't tell you how much better I feel about it all. This time of year, expectations are high and often women feel pressure to make everything right for everyone.
Mumsnet will be awash with threads about men behaving badly and taking no responsibility or carrying any of the mental.load for sorting everything out.
I hope your Christmas is fun, peaceful and the work is shared but if it isn't - there is another way.🌲