What would your gender preference be and why if you did IVF ?

[lolstevelol]

Doing it alone as single mother.

Agree with a pp, the whole idea = 🤮

Sorry for your loss but please don’t compare yourself to a CHILD not having one of their parents. My mother died when I was 8-girls need their mothers in their teen years and I’m sure boys need their dads.

What a terrible attitude. Your poor boy.

As is often said, some are not cut out to be mothers.

You can't choose the sex just because you're doing IVF.

Wait can someone explain how IVF works? Can you just ‘choose’ the sex of your baby? How does that even work

Walt, did she have a boy? I assumed girl

@ABunchOfBadBitches I don't believe it's legal to choose the sex of your baby in the UK. The exception being if there's a serious genetic condition that affects one sex only.

Doctor know the sex of the embryos in IVF though.

‘She’ has both.

I wanted a girl in both pregnancies.im not sure why that in and of itself is a ‘terrible attitude’ and worthy of ‘my poor boy’ but MN is an odd place!

Depends really! If you had asked me before I became a parent, I would have chosen a boy. Then I had my first chid which was a girl. If i had to choose again, I would have chosen another girl because that's all I knew and I couldn't imagine having a boy. Then I had a boy who is incredible! Now, I genuinely wouldn't care

God how sad for your boy 😔

I would have loved to be in that scenario

Your's is a healthy normal outlook. Anything else is toxic for a child.

Unconditional love is being a good mother.

"Doesn't elicit any excitement or pleasure". That is sick.

I’m obviously missing something here, but why is it sad that I wanted a girl?

DS is loved and adored, as DD is, as she would be if she’d been a boy. I did want a girl, though. And I think a lot of people do.

What a load of rubbish and so demeaning to single mothers of perfectly well adjusted boys

On MN we see damaged individuals (like society basically).

I don't come across toxic types day to day thankfully, nonetheless its still shocking when you see them on here.

Since you’re only quoting me and not talking directly to me it’s difficult to answer.

On MN, if you do a search, you’ll see it’s not unusual for mothers of multiple boys to be consoled, to be told things like ‘you can try for a girl’ and the like.

These are not my personal views. But it is true that boys and especially multiple boys don’t ’draw in’ excitement and enthusiasm as girls do.

I agree as it happens that this is a toxic and damaging view. It damages both girls and boys and their parents.

Wirh that said I did have a desire for a girl. I am not totally sure why, and recognise it was irritational, but I did. So I do understand this need. You can know something in a logical sense, that it makes no difference and you should be grateful for a healthy child, but still have a visceral longing which makes no sense at all.

Nonsense. I always wanted a boy and when he arrived he was just as special as I dreamed and still is.

I don’t doubt it, but there are a lot of people who don’t get excited about the arrival of boys. Unfortunately. (Especially if you have more than one.)

Incidentally, really wanting a boy appears to be deemed acceptable but not really wanting a girl.

Being so specific about choosing a boy/a girl feels way too much like shopping for clothes, a coat with a furry hood or would you prefer a lighter jacket? A baby is a glorious wonderful privilege. Surely a beautiful healthy baby is what you want not a specific type.

What do you mean "if you did IVF"?

You know that you don't actually get to choose the sex of the baby, right?

Also most people by the time they have IVF (and I speak from experience) are so happy to be pregnant that they really couldn't give a monkey's about the sex.

No, you can't.

Usually they only know the sex if they do PGTA testing (i.e. not in all cases), and even if they do know, they usually won't disclose. You certainly don't get to choose.

Can someone explain IVF to me as if I was 10 years old please because I don’t understand it. I also don’t understand why it’s so controversial either

Girl definitely.

And who raised you?
I’m a perfectly normal decent person but yet my childhood was ruined by growing up without a mother! It’s beneficial to have guidance from a parent of the same sex, I don’t know why people find that so hard to admit.

I feel unclean quoting them.

Placing value on a child based on genitalia is perverse.

Being a good mother is having unconditional love. Same applies to men (who in polls prefer boys by a two to one ratio, see the consequences of this on daughters: https://www.nber.org/digest/oct04/do-fathers-prefer-sons )

It creates damaged children, who then grow up to be damaged adults (an example on here).