Anyone else out there facing their first Xmas alone without a partner because of infidelity or because they're shit?

[ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers]

Just thought I'd ask. After 33 years of being together (26 years of marriage) and 4 kids together my (stbx)H informed me of his new relationship and his lack of regret. Anyone who thinks this sounds familiar, yes I've posted before but my ex is trying to follow my social media and has his solicitor claiming defamation so I need to change my handle regularly. Anyway back to the thread. Anyone else scared shitless? The ex has buggered off to Asia to have a holiday instead of facing his kids on Xmas day. Luckily, for them, they are my world and there is no way I could just abandon them but it really feels like Wham's Last Xmas and Elvis's Blue Xmas is permanently on the radio and everywhere I look are happy and whole families. I just wondered if there were others out there who needed a thread for support through this 'happy' time?

Fair enough. If you're happy and can manage then do what you think best. I just was concerned for you and your DC.

OP my first Christmas after my ex left was pretty damn shit. I've told this story before on here but I had a small real Christmas tree but hadn't been able to screw it into the stand properly and it kept falling over. Every time it fell over I would be in tears because it seemed to epitomise how sad and pathetic everything was. Anyway I was determined that the following year would be better. I bought a nice artificial tree in the sale and kept it all year in my shed. The next Christmas when I decorated that new tree was so much better. It was a gift I had given to myself to make my life better.
Nine years later I'm sat looking at the beautiful tree and it still makes me smile.

Think about the gifts you can give yourself and how to make next Christmas better even if this one is bound to be sad.

I'd agree with @OhamIreally. I've spent Christmas's alone in the past. Many years ago after the breakup with my then partner 2 days before Xmas after 7 years together, I spent it with my dad and my kids and the second year just with my dad. It was so bereft because he lived with his GF and they didn't buy each other any presents and I'd bought myself nothing.

The following year I promised myself it would be different and through the year, I bought myself little gifts and wrapped them then stowed them away - I knew I'd forget by Xmas what I'd bought. I spent it on my own with the dog and unwrapped my gifts, which I was delighted with! No more crappy presents and pretending to be pleased.

Since then I've had a number of shit relationships, tbh. The last 4 years I've spent it with an on/off serial whiner and abuser. November and December would be packed with complaints and I would be left to clean up, cook etc with.... no-thought presents which I was meant to be in rapture about.

This year, we broke up a month ago, so this is how I've celebrated Xmas in the past on my own and I'll do the same. I was only thinking about this today, so your thread is timely.

I will:
Have whatever breakfast I want and fancy making.
Cook my own Xmas dinner for me with lots of leftovers for over the next few days
Bought tin foil cooking stuff so little washing up and ready prepared veg to shove in the oven
Surf the net for hours and look for make up and perfume/clothes bargains - something I've not been able to do as I was catering to the whims of someone else
Go for a walk with the dog.
Talk to I want in a pub with no aggro afterwards about 'flirting'
Watch whatever I want on TV
Not worry about gaining Xmas weight

I have - as I have regularly done for years now - bought myself my own thoughtful gifts and can get what I want in the sales which I can browse away for hours without any disturbance.

You've got this, lovey. You have. <3

Just to add - gifts I've bought myself over the years:

Make-up
Jewellery
perfume
Booked a holiday on 1st Jan to Barcelona
Dab radio
laptop
new phone

honestly - it won't be easy this year but there's so much you can do from Xmas day to NY and to plan for next year. The worst thing I did was go to my dads because it was no comfort at all - unfamiliar surroundings, miserable set up etc. My advice to anyone newly single for Xmas - tough it out. Spend it in your own home and go to visit people later in the day and return if you feel like it. Book something for Boxing Day - sales, brunch, the cinema, that kind of thing. Maybe it's a NW thing, but when I've gone out on my own I've got chatting to people and had some lovely, interesting conversations. Be your own best friend is my advice. ❤

Merry Christmas everyone. Hope everyone has a peaceful day x

Merry Christmas 🎄

I remember my first one. We split a week before Christmas. My lovely friend rallied round and I was invited to her (what turned out to be last) Christmas with other friends and family. I gave all ex's presents to them instead and we had a great time.

It's actually a treasured memory as she died from breast cancer the following year. I miss her still. She was a rock.

You will get through this. It sounds like he's worried about what he's going to lose. Try not to worry about the defamation, they try all sorts of games to mess with your head. It's a tactic so that you give in and don't pursue a proper settlement. The Court sees through it. Stay strong.