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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Inherited dog

38 replies

TheCatInTheHat1990 · 22/12/2024 08:26

Hi, I inherited my aunts dog after she passed away in April, he was her world and she felt at peace knowing he would be coming to me. The problem is I have a cat, she is 14 and she is petrified of him. I've had the dog since January as she got really ill towards the end. He's a massive dog, he has a very loud bark which gives me a fright constantly, and also gives my 6 year old autistic daughter frights when he barks too. He's making my house dirty, casts 24/7 all year round and is wrecking my couch. My poor cat has lived upstairs since January now and I feel like I have abandoned her, she's used to popping into the garden for fresh air now and again but she won't even come down the stairs, I've tried bringing her down everyday but as soon as she moves he barks at her and she runs straight back upstairs. I don't know what to do I'm very very stressed and I feel like I'm being very unfair on my own pet who I've had for the past 14 years. I don't want to dissapoint my aunt. He is 8 years old, very strong and very spoiled , he also has started to bark at people randomly when out with him and he drags me off my feet ( I'm 4 ft 11 ) I don't know if he would be easy to rehome, I've asked all my family and friends but no one will take him.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 22/12/2024 08:29

What breed is he?

Velvian · 22/12/2024 08:30

I would rehome him @TheCatInTheHat1990 . He is not your dog, you didn't choose to get a dog. It was very kind of you to help your aunt when she needed it, but she is no longer here. The humans, and particularly your DD, come first.

I would look for a breed specific rescue organisation.

TeenToTwenties · 22/12/2024 08:30

Surely the best thing would be to get a rescue to help rehoming him somewhere suitable? No one is currently winning.

Tooes · 22/12/2024 08:30

Check with shelters if it can be taken away, or get it put down before the dog does actual damage to another dog or human

MostHighlyFlavoredGravy · 22/12/2024 08:30

Gently, you need to rehome this dog. Your aunt was being ridiculous in expecting you to take it on. It's one of the things you need to think about when getting a pet - sure, it was "her world" as you say, but she can't expect you to feel the same way about it. She won't know and you need to do what's best for your family. Flowers

Gnomi21 · 22/12/2024 08:31

What breed is he? Try the breed rescues, they will try to find him a new home with an experienced owner so less chance of him ending up abandonned which i guess is what your aunt was worried about. You may have to hold on to him whilst they find a new home for him though.
I cant believe your would have wanted this to be stressful for you so you shouldnt feel bad for giving him up. He also is probably stressed and unhappy as dogs do pick up on negativity.

biscuitsandbooks · 22/12/2024 08:33

Kindly, your aunt doesn't know what's happening - you're not letting her down by doing what's best for you and the dog.

TheCatInTheHat1990 · 22/12/2024 08:34

TeenToTwenties · 22/12/2024 08:30

Surely the best thing would be to get a rescue to help rehoming him somewhere suitable? No one is currently winning.

Thank you, I will look into it after the holidays, the whole situation is breaking my heart and I feel guilt from every angle , such a hard situation for me as she was like a mum to me we were very close and she loved this dog more than anything just feel like I have failed her.

OP posts:
Deliveringpressies · 22/12/2024 08:34

What breed is he?

category12 · 22/12/2024 08:34

If you are motivated to make it work, you could find a trainer and put time & effort into retraining the dog and getting its behaviour at least sorted.

If you haven't the time or energy, (and it would take a lot) then I think it's probably better to rehome the dog if you can.

TheCatInTheHat1990 · 22/12/2024 08:36

He doesn't bite he barks but thanks , he just drags me off my feet in general because of his size. Other than that he is a gentle giant he is a lab he is not vicious

OP posts:
TheCatInTheHat1990 · 22/12/2024 08:38

He is a lab, I will look into it after the holidays I would definitely prefer a home direct scheme as I couldn't see him in kennels after all I've been through. I am very stressed but don't take it out on him he is very much loved I've been around him since he was a puppy. That's what's making it harder for me he is part of my family too but was easier when he didn't live with me

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 22/12/2024 08:38

So if he’s a lab I’d look at breed specific rescue.
Is he neutered?

TheCatInTheHat1990 · 22/12/2024 08:39

A lab, a very large one tho .

OP posts:
TheCatInTheHat1990 · 22/12/2024 08:40

I have been trying for a year now , my daughter is autistic and has learning disabilities she is 6 and I do everything for her so that takes up most of my time tbh. It's hard as he is part of the family I've been around him since he was a pup it was just easier when he didn't live here

OP posts:
LimeYellow · 22/12/2024 08:41

You have done your best OP. I think your aunt would understand. Your aunt loved you and wouldn't want you to be so unhappy.

FriendlyNeighbourhoodAccountant · 22/12/2024 08:42

Where (roughly) are you? There's a lab specific foster-to-home rescue near me.

TheCatInTheHat1990 · 22/12/2024 08:42

Yes he is neutered

OP posts:
TheCatInTheHat1990 · 22/12/2024 08:42

I'm in Glasgow g45

OP posts:
TheCatInTheHat1990 · 22/12/2024 08:42

Thank you

OP posts:
Tara336 · 22/12/2024 08:45

There is a thing called Pet Rehomer on Facebook they vet the homes and it's a direct rehome so the dog wouldn't go into kennels. You haven't let anyone down and your aunt would want her dog to be well cared for and happy and right now it sounds like your unhappy and the dog isn't thriving and nor is your cat. You have really done your best and giving the dog the opportunity to have a more suitable home is the right thing for everyone

TheHistorian · 22/12/2024 08:45

There's someone out there who would love a lab to cherish and look after. You will be doing the dog a favour to allow a new owner to focus on him alone. You're not letting your aunt down if you find him a good home🤗

Ylvamoon · 22/12/2024 08:46

Would you be prepared to try and work with a dog behaviourist/ trainer?
He's as lost and unsure as you are (hence the barking). I think if was been well behaved for your aunt and you are willing to try there is no reason for re homing.

TheCatInTheHat1990 · 22/12/2024 08:46

Tara336 · 22/12/2024 08:45

There is a thing called Pet Rehomer on Facebook they vet the homes and it's a direct rehome so the dog wouldn't go into kennels. You haven't let anyone down and your aunt would want her dog to be well cared for and happy and right now it sounds like your unhappy and the dog isn't thriving and nor is your cat. You have really done your best and giving the dog the opportunity to have a more suitable home is the right thing for everyone

Thank you I will look into that, he is a lovely boy

OP posts:
rookiemere · 22/12/2024 08:46

A lab looking for a new home because of owner bereavement should find one relatively easily. I agree check out breed specific charities.

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