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Relationships

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Original poster

Random clothing

14 replies

BraverSoul · 22/12/2024 02:04

My other half has begun going to the gym. Now, a few times, random items of womens' clothes show up in our home. Alarm bells are ringing for sure. Any thoughts or advice please

OP posts:

XChrome · 22/12/2024 02:19

BraverSoul · 22/12/2024 02:04

My other half has begun going to the gym. Now, a few times, random items of womens' clothes show up in our home. Alarm bells are ringing for sure. Any thoughts or advice please

There is no explanation for this that isn't grim. So sorry you're going through this. My advice would be to prepare yourself to end the relationship. Don't ask him about the items, he'll just insult your intelligence with some ridiculous lie. Next time he "goes to the gym" follow him. Get photos if you can so he can't deny it.

Garlicwest · 22/12/2024 02:26

There is no explanation for this that isn't grim.

Very true. I'm sorry to hear about this, too, OP. I agree about not bothering to ask him - but unsure about following him, unless you really want to? Basically, when you're wondering about female clothing mysteriously appearing in your house, the relationship is done. Your time would be better spend getting your ducks lined up for a successful exit 😟

Original poster

BraverSoul · 22/12/2024 02:32

Thank you for the replies. This is where my head is at right now. It is time to move on!

OP posts:

Pinkbonbon · 22/12/2024 02:35

Sounds like he's shagging someone in your home and maybe telling her you two aren't actually 'properly together' anymore but she is suspicious so leaving clothes for you to find. Unless you mean he's randomly taking women's clothes home from the gym.

Assuming you've no teenagers that would bring clothes home?

Original poster

BraverSoul · 22/12/2024 02:50

It is definitely not the teenagers. No. It is more like he wants me to find them. He is planting them to make it obvious. He is not bringing anyone back here, going to 'the gym' is his ' excuse' if you get my drift.

OP posts:

Pinkbonbon · 22/12/2024 03:11

How odd, why would he want you to find them? Do you think he wants a fight? Or gets a kick out of upsetting you? Or, just wants to seperate without having to be the one to break up?

Original poster

BraverSoul · 22/12/2024 03:19

He doesn't want to be the one to do it. He wants me to leave him, so he can be the poor abandoned victim. He has his narcissistic reputation to maintain.

OP posts:

Garlicwest · 22/12/2024 03:31

He has his narcissistic reputation to maintain.

You could ask him whether his friends know he's dressing up as a laydee in private, and would he like to pop his soiled garments in the washing basket ...

Pinkbonbon · 22/12/2024 03:32

Pretend you've just fallen out if love with him. You didn't notice the clothes. You just find him grating and mind numbingly dull so you want out.

Straight for his ego.

I mean, he'll paint you as the evil woman anyway. Might as well make it sting for him. The only thing narcs hate more than damage to their reputations, is to be considered unimportant.

Pumpkinpie1 · 22/12/2024 04:27

Have you asked him if he likes wearing womens clothes ? Poor chap sounds confused

Monty27 · 22/12/2024 04:36

Carry on (if you can) and say nothing until he pisses off.

Beeinalily · 23/12/2024 13:18

I must admit, my first thought was that he's wearing them himself and trying to introduce the subject. Would they fit him, OP?

MauveGoose · 23/12/2024 16:48

Pinkbonbon · 22/12/2024 03:32

Pretend you've just fallen out if love with him. You didn't notice the clothes. You just find him grating and mind numbingly dull so you want out.

Straight for his ego.

I mean, he'll paint you as the evil woman anyway. Might as well make it sting for him. The only thing narcs hate more than damage to their reputations, is to be considered unimportant.

Do this! Brilliant

DebOnDating · 23/12/2024 17:48

Sometimes it's the other woman sneaking things into his bag because SHE wants them to be discovered and for your relationship to end. But after the first time or two the men usually start searching their "bag" before they get home and toss the items into a public trash bin! So I kinda have to think either your guy is hella stupid and naive and thinks you haven't noticed the items, OR he really just doesn't care that you know. It's one of those two.

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