Two friends and I lost touch over the years. Then we started meeting up a few years ago we meet maybe 3 to 6 times a year (for drinks, meal, to go to a concert or occasionally a coffee etc).
We all live locally and used to work and socialise together more frequently when younger a few years ago. We all have different lives, in different jobs, in different relationships, have other friends and we all had children who are now all grown up. The regularity of meet ups suits me.
We all really enjoy meeting up and all have good fun and seem to get a lot from it when we do get together. After the last meet up we stayed in a hotel after an event in another city. I am sensing things with one friend (probably the one I was closest to) have changed. I was sensing that she was cool towards me as she was quiet on the journey home. They stayed in the same room I had my own room (I don’t know if I am imagining it or if she was just tired). A mix up occurred when we were away due to impulsive friend which ended up costing us all more than it should have (but impulsive friend and I ended up worst off financially). The friend I am closest to’s DH picked me up and dropped her and I off at the station on the way down as we live fairly near each other. I told her that I would get my DH to pick us all up and drop us all off on the way back and I said it again before we boarded the train. When we arrived at the station she suddenly just said her DH had just texted to say he had come down to give her a lift. I said but I said DH could pick us all up (I wanted to repay the favour) she said oh I don’t know he just does this. Her DH can be quite jealous and over protective of her.
The friend I am closest to and I texted each other once a couple of weeks back and we all messaged on the WhatsApp but since then she has been extremely quiet on that too.
Impulsive friend was trying to get us both to commit to a local event a few months down the line in high summer. I asked if I could please let her know in January. She messaged saying she would just get me a ticket on Friday when they were released anyway incase I change my mind. Meanwhile the friend I am closest to hadn’t commented either way.
I explained that due to a family wedding I couldn’t commit to this date yet until the middle of next month when we should have dates from our family member. Impulsive friend commented that I would be missed if I didn’t go. The friend I am closest to still hadn’t commented either way unless she has messaged the other one privately. Again I explained my predicament about a family wedding DH’s sibling (so suggested she doesn’t get me a ticket yet). The event is unlikely to sell out so mid Jan would have been ok to decide and book but also fine if they both want to book (but I know other friends DH’s birthday is fairly close to that date).
I don’t want to be a pain on the WhatsApp especially at this time of year when we all have a lot on. But would be sad to loose their friendship but some friendships do fizzle out I would just be really sad if this one did.
Shall I message on the WhatsApp
wishing them both a Happy Christmas and all the best for the NY and or mention a coffee to see what the response is or does this sound desperate if she does want to distance herself or how could I message to keep it light.