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probmatic MIL

11 replies

Mushroom86 · 21/12/2024 19:43

Am i over reacting or is there some normality in how im feeling.
I gave birth 6 weeks ok. My daughter was 8 weeks premature and delivered by emergency c-section due to reverse flow in her umbilical cord. She is my 4th but first daughter. She is my partners first child. All through my pregnancy his mum was constantly buying clothes for our daughter. Which I appreciate but after having 3 sons I was so excited to finally be buying girls clothes. I'm also a massive disney fan so was excited to finally be able to buy disney princess clothes, toys ect. His mum bought countless dresses to the point that any I bought would be over kill if that makes sense. And when I say dresses I don't mean just cute little dresses I mean full on party dresses. I made a comment one day about how we better hope she gets plenty of party invites to wear the dresses to which she informed me they were for everyday wear. Yes I want days that I will dress her nice but I want her comfortable in leggings ect. I personally feel she crossed the line when she told me she saw a nice christening dress for my daughter, instead of asking me she ordered it and decided its the christening gown my daughter will be wearing. Even though it's not anything like what I planned to dress her in. She constantly makes digs at me wanting to raise her on disney princess and moans when I buy anything minnie mouse because she doesn't like minnie mouse. The final straw for me was 3 days after my daughter was born. As I stated she was 8 weeks premature and I had a c-section so she spent the first 3 weeks of her life in a neo-natal and I was kept in hospital for the first week in a near by ward. My MIL was having a dishwasher delivered 4 days after the birth to a house we share with her. She called us in the hospital the day before it was delivered to say my partner had to go home (he was staying in hospital with me) because she needed somebody to be there to bring the dishwasher in. I told her he was staying to help me as I needed assistance to go to the toilet at night ect, to which she informed me that was the nurses job. To save an argument my partner left the hospital to deal with the delivery. Since then I feel anger towards his mum for dismissing what we had been through and prioritising her dishwasher over me and her grandchild (first grandchild may I add). She never visited the rest of the time she was in neonatal but now she is home she wants to constantly be involved. I don't want her around her and don't want her doing stuff like feeding, changing or even holding her. Am I being a total asshole or not because it's really impacting my mental health to the point I want us to move so she isn't around her

OP posts:
Hercisback1 · 21/12/2024 19:44

Move out ASAP.

Joelle84 · 21/12/2024 19:58

Who’s house is it?

Mushroom86 · 21/12/2024 20:00

It's her house. We moved in with her in April after her partner (my partners step-dad) passed away in January and she wanted us to help with bills ect. That was before we found out I was pregnant with my daughter so rhe dynamics were completely different

OP posts:
OneWittySquid · 21/12/2024 20:04

Why are two adults and 4 children living with one of their parents makes no sense.

Catoo · 21/12/2024 20:25

Hercisback1 · 21/12/2024 19:44

Move out ASAP.

This

Your husband is a dick for leaving to install a dishwasher.

Dress your daughter however you want for her christening. You don’t even have to say anything. Just buy the outfit you like and dress her in it. Hide the other one or throw it away.

Same with the party dresses. Take them off if MIL puts them on and gradually give them away.

Move out as soon as you possibly can. In the meantime say to her, ‘I know you mean well, and love granddaughter and thank you for your help so far. However, you are taking over and it’s making me uncomfortable. Please give me more space I’d appreciate it. Hope you understand’

Congratulations on your lovely daughter 💐

Soontobe60 · 21/12/2024 20:28

Where do your other 3 children live?

Frith2013 · 21/12/2024 20:30

Are you a Christian? I vaguely remember my MIL mentioning a Christening!

But yes, move out as soon as possible.

Bibi222 · 21/12/2024 20:33

You both seem to have very set ideas about what a baby girl should wear and play with. Poor child.

Knowitall69 · 21/12/2024 20:47

Is it a nice house? Could you see your little family living there if she wasn't around????

I would recommend a few banana skins on the stairs and the Bronze Coop Funeral Care package.

You could get this sorted for Christmas if you and your hubby plan it properly.

Good luck!!

rockstep · 21/12/2024 21:16

Open a Vinted account for all those unwanted baby clothes.

Tourmalines · 21/12/2024 21:37

You moved in because she wanted you to help her with bills ? Well , you didn’t have to move in . So pack up and move out .

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