Please help - The amount of time me and my partner spend together

[MaisieMoo02]

Hello,

so we both work full time (one is a very stressful job). We have 3 children and usually get 1 maybe 2 date nights a week - usually go for tea or get a takeaway.

all other nights of the week so 5-6 nights, I will usually watch telly and he plays games with his friends. I would at least like one other night a week however this is causing arguments as he wants to relax and have his own time. I’m not saying he can’t, but 5-6 nights a week?!

I don’t really have any hobbies or interests which is my issue but I’m just wondering if I am being unreasonable wanting another night to either watch telly together/play games etc? Or what other couples normal is?

Are you putting too much pressure on the arrangement by calling it a date night? DH and I hang out together many evenings but I wouldn’t call watching TV together a date night. It’s just spending time in each other’s company.

Sorry, should clarify date nights better, When I’m referring to date nights, I more mean it’s a takeaway and watching a film, it’s very rare that we actually go out and do something.. but that’s what he refers our date nights as

Apart from the allocated 1 or 2 nights a week to do this, we eat tea together then go in separate rooms for the rest of the night.

no I don’t have any hobbies, which I know is also an issue with this and I need to

I think the use of the words 'date night' have caused confusion in the thread.

From my understanding of the OP she classes any evening time spent together at all as a 'date night' whereas my DH and I spend almost every evening together just existing and being in the same space, and only a special night out with a babysitter is a 'date'.

OP can you confirm that you mean you only spend 1 or 2 nights a week physically in the same room?

Crosspost 😣

@CheeseWisely yes that’s what I mean - sorry, my fault I should have explained better!

Do you ever all spend the evening with your children and all watch a film or play a board game together? I would miss that, I think - the feeling of being all together as a family.

Very rarely to a film or anything with the kids. I could count on one hand the amount of times this happens with all of us, Christmas is one of them! This is usually because partner is playing his game or just can’t be bothered

I think the confusion on this thread is that most people think of a "date night" as either a night out, or a romantic night in together where special effort is made.

Reading between the lines I think the OP classes a "date night" as nights they actually interact and don't hang out in separate rooms doing their own things.

I think most couples probably interact in the way she is looking for more than once or twice a week.

I wouldn't be happy either op

Definitely some confusion on this thread!

I think only 1-2 nights in each others company is quite bizarre IMO, regardless whether you have kids. Personal time is nice but couldn't that be 1 hour of your night watching your show/ reading your book / playing his game etc?

If my husband purposely sat in another in the house away from me 5-6 nights a week I would seriously question if he even liked me as a person, let alone the love of his life

Yanbu. I think it's very sad that your dp calls spending ordinary time with you at home in the evening a date night. Most couples do that nearly every evening, especially when the kids are no longer toddlers I would have thought.

Our kids are both under 5 so bathtime and bedtime is a bit of an operation... but even so, dh and I nearly always get to watch half an hour of TV together or even just chat while we do the washing up together.

I am quote into gaming but not at the expense of spending time with dh. Whereas your dp seems to be more of a classic gaming waster. Yanbu

That's really quite sad, isn't it?

That'd be too much for me. I'd prefer my hobbies/ my own time.