Having a better relationship with myself

[Sixtyisjustaroundthecorner]

As my username says i'll be 60 next year. I've been thinking of things I could do to celebrate. The age number itself doesn't bother me, i don't feel old or that 60 is old. Just getting older.
We (family) are going on a really nice vacation but I'm thinking more of what I can do for me personally.
I feel like I've lost my way over the years.
Moved to dh's country which I haven't particularly clicked with.
Been a sahm to teens who don't really need me anymore.
Marriage of 25 years is quite dead if I'm honest, not really any desire to reignite it.
I feel I'm at a crossroads. I could stay exactly as I am until I die. I could pack a bag and go live in some hippy commune somewhere warm. Or. I could do something, or many things in between.
Compared to a lot of the relationship issues on this thread I know this one is relatively trivial. I also realise that I should have prioritised my relationship with myself 30/40 years ago.
All suggestions welcome 😊

This reminds me of a quote by Rainer Maria Rilke:

But your solitude will be a support and a home for you, even in the midst of very unfamiliar circumstances, and from it you will find all your paths.

I would travel. Go somewhere by myself and walk. Or, alternatively, join a walking holiday with others on their own (if you like walking!) It doesn’t have to be outside your home country if going abroad would be difficult.

You don’t say what country you now live in but if you are outside the UK then come to the UK and do one of the National Trails. Or a pilgrimage (doesn’t have to be religious but there are many pilgrimage sites where people have walked for inspiration for thousands of years).

If walking isn’t your thing, then you could find a retreat somewhere meaningful for you. Again, it doesn’t have to be religious or faith-based; there are many retreat centres across Europe where you will be welcomed for a time of renewal or to learn a new skill - yoga? Meditation? Art? Painting holidays? Cookery? Wine tasting? Or just time by yourself. You may make connections with others during this time which will offer you a new perspective.

Whatever you choose to do, take a risk. If you don’t take a risk things will stay as they are. Taking a risk may lead to refreshment and happiness. Do something different to move forwards.

I wish you all the very best.

Well I’m glad you’re realised now, I think it’s mainly going against whey we are socially conditioned to do which is to put everyone else before ourselves

sounds like your at the start of an exciting adventure
moving somewhere warm to a hippy commune sounds fab to me !

wishing you good luck and bravery for 2025

Thank you so much for your lovely uplifting post@JaneAustensHeroine
All of the things you mentioned are things i have thought of too.
I think the Taking a risk part is probably the key.

I think you have hit the nail on the head OP. We stop taking risks as we get older. We get stuck and stop learning or doing new things. We lose touch with curiosity. Think about something you have always wanted to learn…perhaps a language or a particular skill…and look to see what is available.

If you love literature, for example, perhaps you can visit the homeland of a famous author and find what influenced them. If you love a particular artist then you can do the same…visit the places they painted and found inspiration.

There are many volunteer centres too…places where you can spend time and volunteer on the land or with people. Accommodation might be free because you offer your time and help.

Whatever happens, please go. Whether you love it or not, the experience will move you forwards and motivate you to step outside of your comfort zone…that is definitely the key!

We do lose ourselves as we get older because we often lose the natural curiosity we had as a child as well as the opportunity and courage to try new things by ourselves.

💐 for you.

I swear by chanting a Buddhist mantra Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo twice daily for 10 minutes to draw out my inner courage and wisdom and put myself in harmony with the Universe. More on pronunciation and meaning on our website SGI-UK

I am definitely stuck. Hence this thread.
When I was in my 20's I never stopped. Such desire and thirst to see and do.
Never Why?, always Why not!
I have become boring because im bored I think.
I really need to get my thinking cap on and really think about what I want don't I?

You could work abroad teaching English. In some countries you get free accommodation. You can use it as a base and travel.

If the environment is your passion there are environmental projects you can take part in.

Sit back and relax the universe will provide inspiration when needed.

Love yourself unconditionally first and foremost. Let all the programming and conditioning of the past decades disappear. Return to innocence and the childhood curiosity that was your Truth!

Adventures will come when you're ready. All you have to do is grasp them.

Our thoughts do often control what we do so if we tell ourselves we can’t do it, we are too old or we should just continue as we are then we will just continue to stand still. You are already changing your thought pattern and recognising that “Why not?” could be a helpful question to ask. It’s like that saying: “Never decline an invitation”… we often find our inspiration from going somewhere different or from a new encounter.

You can always start small by doing one small thing differently every day. If you usually go shopping in one supermarket, try another. If you usually travel to work following one route, then go another route. If you usually have soup for lunch then have pasta! It sounds bizarre but we frequently follow the same patterns day in, day out…go walking in the same place, go to the same coffee shop, buy the same shower gel, visit the same hairdresser… Change the small things as they are easy to do and can make bigger changes more manageable.

Paint your nails a different colour, change your make-up if you wear it, style your hair differently and go from there!

I have already decided to prioritise my health and wellbeing next year. I want to be in the best shape possible when I hit 60. I'm hoping that will motivate me and boost my self-esteem.
I have started a Pinterest board, places I want to visit, things i want to do, clothes, hairstyles, inspirational quotes.
I think having the desire to change the direction my life is heading in is a good start.

100%! A vision board will definitely help keep these goals on the agenda. Good to define them and define what is achievable this year. Make a start, however small, because once you start, things will gather pace and your mindset will start to change. Changing how you feel starts with changing what you do.