Domestic violence

[Smumy]

Hi guys,

not sure where to put this thread would appreciate if someone could respond. So I reported domestic violence 2 weeks ago. I did have evidence videos of actual physical abuse, coercive control. The officer assured me that he would personally make an arrest in the next couple days and that I had a strong case. Two weeks on I have had one call from a more senior officer just checking in and said he would email the officer in question regarding an update, that was 3 days ago no response as of yet. Have tried reaching out to the officer myself, no luck. Feeling very disheartened, it’s causing me a lot of stress I know an arrest is just the first part but am keen to move on with my life and finally get justice. It took weeks of contemplation to even go in and feel like now it doesn’t really mean much. Yes the police have his work adress so it is not just a matter of not being able to find him and yes he still works there. Am Pregnant on top of this, anyone been in a smilier situation. Your advise is much appreciated.
Thanks x

Have you told your MW?

So sorry you are going through this.

Have you contacted your local domestic violence organisation?
They can provide emotional support as well as chasing the police for updates.

thank you so much had no idea they could chase them will for updates will try and get in contact with them thanks x

Are you safe where you are?

Has any other agency been in touch with you about the domestic abuse you've reported? Have there been any further incidents since you reported?
It might be that he's showing as wanted on PNC but they're not actually actively seeking to arrest him, or it might be that they're trying to sort out their evidence as they can manage it in slower time than needing to blue light arrest him.
Youve done an amazing thing for you and your baby by reporting him. Who is supporting you?

I'm really sorry you are going through this OP. I work as an IDVA (independent domestic violence advocate) for a domestic abuse service. Unfortunately the police are not always great at keeping victim/survivors updated, but pls don't feel dis heartened, it doesn't mean they are not doing anything. A few things you could do:

• Call 101 and ask for an update if there has been an arrest (give them the ref number / OIC name if you have it)
• self refer to your local domestic abuse service and ask for IDVA support
• download the hollie guard app on your phone if you feel unsafe

Wish you all the best x

Go physically to your local station in working hours - take someone with you and ask for an update also email is your friend create a paper trail.

Thank you guys for all the advice. I really do appreciate your kindness. I never realised how traumatic it would be reliving the abuse, it really led to a lot of mixed emotions I guess being pregnant on top of that doesn’t help. Getting support from my MW, friends and family. Everyone has been amazing. I didn’t expect such a response I will deffo take all your advise on board. Thanks for all your compassion and advice. Kinda feel like I’ve been in limbo for the past two weeks but will keep chasing and move on. It really did consume my every moment but hopefully there is a lot happening behind closed doors and they will get him soon. Xx

When I reported my ex in total it took about 3 weeks for them to arrest him. They would ring one night saying they plan too do it tomorrow then something bigger came up. Don't loose heart just yet can take a while

Sorry my dear aw that sounds awful! Thanks that’s actually given me some heart it’s the waiting of the unknown that is concerning. How did it go? Did you end up going to court. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Well done I know it ain’t easy for reporting.

I’m so sorry, how awful that they’re not prioritising this. Your safety should be high priority, unfortunately domestic violence is still not given the attention it should have.

Make yourself a nuisance to the police wherever you can, demand protection.

They should not be able to fob you off or let him go like this. As pp said, continue to call 101 everyday and id also be lodging a complaint. They have the culprit and the evidence, they need to arrest the arsehold.

Thanks I know it’s very disheartening especially as I have provided strong evidence. I just pray that I get the outcome I want! It’s sad that DV isn’t a priority. I am safe haven’t had contact in weeks, I guess that’s why it isn’t being treated as urgent. Thank you so much for your advise.

Thank you for the advice this has given me a lot of hope. Hope you’re healing and okay. After the arrest what happened. I pray you got the justice you deserve.