Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

My Mum is not organised for Christmas, and now that's my problem apparently

30 replies

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 21/12/2024 13:13

I have already bought presents for my DH and DC on her behalf but she has just phoned me today to organise presents for her cleaner and her cleaner's DC. She said I can think of things and order them online, the Saturday before Christmas, and she needs them for Monday morning. Or just pop to the toy shop, again the Saturday before Christmas. I always organise everything by the end of November and then don't set foot into a shop for most of December because I really hate crowds.

Just whinging to you lot because there is no-one else at home at the moment. I will probably just get cash and Christmas cards and she can either give that or not.

It always makes my heart sink (and my blood glucose spike) when I answer the phone and hear either "could you just..." or "are you busy at the moment?".

OP posts:

TammyJones · 22/12/2024 05:43

ChristmasEveNotChristmasSteve · 21/12/2024 14:25

Maybe people shouldn't expect gifts from people who can't look after themselves. I doubt the cleaner would be that bothered, would he/she? It's not your responsibility to make it seem like she's organised! Sorry you are burdened with it, though.

Anyway, this is probably a good reminder for all of us to expect less from people who need a lot of support in life! I hope nobody stresses themselves out trying to get Christmas presents for me.

This sounds like my friends mum.
Passes all the dementia tests at GP's with flying colours .... can't remember arrangements (for one day to the next)
Can't remember relatives taking advantage of her, very demanding, nearly 90.
My friend is a saint.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 22/12/2024 05:57

Well done on helping. Different POV but I lost my mum over a decade ago and I would love to have her back for one more Christmas, and my dad.
At least your mum wants to give something to people who help her during the year, but I agree I bet they’d prefer cash, as it can add up to a nice tidy sum, if you get it from clients, rather than endless boxes of chocs!
It was my dad who was demanding in the end, if drive me nuts, but I would love to have him around for another Christmas.
I am in my 50’s, so not a child, but I do miss them at this time of year.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 22/12/2024 06:32

Your mother merely expects you to be at her beck and call. Drop the rope she holds out to you and consider tour boundaries re her too. They are too low and she is taking full advantage. She would always have passed a dementia test because she is not demented but demanding of you and your time.

Oneearringlost · 22/12/2024 06:39

Slightly off topic, but has she got a pendant/wrist alarm if she lives alone and is falling, with a virus on top of things?

MiddleParking · 22/12/2024 06:43

Bloody hell OP I think you’re being a bit harsh. She’s elderly and sounds vulnerable, I think it’s understandable that she’s “not organised for Christmas” and that that is to some extent “your problem”. I think we’d all rather be having pyjama days and staying out the shops all month, but come on.

Flip

1 2