Blue ticks on Whatsapp - Ignored messages

[citygirl1961]

One of my good friends who messages me and vice versa at least every other day on Whatsapp is suddenly not replying. I wonder if I am being paranoid and reading too much into it but its not like her.

I have other friends and we message not so often so I am used to that but with this friend we do message regularly. She often sends me long chatty texts.

However, this past week I sent her a usual message and the blue ticks appeared and she had read it - no reply. I waited a couple of days and sent her another message, blue ticks, no reply. I waited again and then just sent a brief message to ask if she's OK out of concern. I got a reply to say she is OK and busy witth house work and I've not heard anything since.

Should I follow this up or leave the ball in her court now?

It is the week before Christmas. She is probably busy! Follow it up? With what exactly... 'are you still busy?'

I read messages all the time, get distracted by the hundred and one other things I've got going on and forget to reply for a while.

It is not rude to read a message and then reply in your own time when it's convenient, be that in the moment or a few days later. The expectation these days of instantaneous responses is unreasonable and if someone kept messaging me, then I would find it irritating.

Not everyone has time to sit around messaging back and forth, whether they have read your message or not!

I get that (and no need for exclamation marks, I was only asking a question). People are busy. I am busy, I work full time, my friend doesn't work, I know she can still be busy but even so. As I said, if she didn't normally reply to messages straight away I wouldn't think anything of it at all, its only because she usually does.

In the days before mobile phones, people would wonder why someone didn't ring them when they were used to ringing them often, its only the same, though I get it that with technolgy these days it is more instant and sometimes expected.

Yeah that's odd, because it's a change in a normal pattern. She could be feeling the Christmas overwhelm though. I definitely wouldn't reach out again, just wait to hear and try not to dwell on it.

You’ve followed up twice, she’s said she’s OK and that she’s busy, so don’t do it again. To me it doesn’t sound that serious, is she hosting Christmas lunch or expecting visitors? She may be flat out cleaning, preparing, wrapping gifts and just be exhausted.

She told me she was busy with housework. She's not buying presents for anyone this year, has just sent cards. She'll be spending Christmas on her own. I don't think she's busy with Christmas preparations to be honest.

Maybe she's feeling really low. Many people do at Christmas. Invite her for Christmas dinner. 🎅

This this this. Why is everyone expected to message back instantly these days? It's bloody ridiculous.

Does she normally spend Christmas on her own? Has something happened this year?
Sometimes the run up to Christmas and Christmas itself can really get to you. I'm in this position. Both parents have died. One died the week before Christmas a few years ago. I'm an only child. I get overwhelmed by sadness and grief around Christmas time and I just can't cope with messaging people. It all ends up just being too much. I spend Christmas Day on my own too. I'm alright after Christmas but just before and during I can't deal with anything at all, so I withdraw.
Is that a possibility with her?

I think you just have to accept what she says though and leave her be for a while and then see how things are at the beginning of the new year.