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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not the end of the world, but peeved

4 replies

Yatzydog · 20/12/2024 20:51

We had a mini-christmas this evening. Me, DH and dd. Just exchanging our gifts before we going travelling (flights, etc) so we don't have lug dd's bulky presents around. Dh suggested it.

Anyway i have bought and wrapped dd's presents. Bought dh a couple of presents online. They didn't turn up, despite ordering them in november. So I got a couple of alternative presents for him in town and on the way home today.

What do i get from him? A chocolate bar wrapped up from the supermarket that he bought on the way home from the pub.

He didn't bother with a present or card for our 15th anniversary or mother's day this year. To be honest, I never really thought about them. But after receiving a chocolate bar for my Christmas present, I am a bit sad. I know the other present will eventually show up. But a little thoughtfulness, would have been nice.

And the chocolate bar wasnt really even his idea. When he told me i'd be getting no present i jokingly said "At least you could have got me Coke and wrapped it up". An hour late up pops my chocolate bar.

OP posts:
wombpaloumbpa · 20/12/2024 20:59

What do you mean by 'the other present will turn up' - has he got you something else that didn't turn up yet?

If so I think maybe try and not make a big issue of it.

Personally I don't feel like presents are a big deal as an adult but I know they are for some. Sorry you feel disappointed though. Hope your travels are fun.

Yatzydog · 20/12/2024 21:22

Yes. I realise i forgot to add that. He has got me something online and it hasn't arrived yet.

OP posts:
Yatzydog · 20/12/2024 21:25

Maybe you're right. Maybe i shouldn't care or bother. Because, right or wrong, if I put in effort and consideration in some respect i'd like similar-ish effort and consideration back.

OP posts:
LittleGreenDragons · 20/12/2024 21:34

It's time to match his energy. Don't bother with Father's Day or your anniversary next year, scale back Christmas. What is he like on your birthday or day to day treats? If he's bad at those too then stop making a fuss of him. He will either feel hurt and step up his consideration of you or it will rock your relationship to the point where you eventually realise he doesn't actually care about you enough. Matching the energy can be rather illuminating.

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