Hi all, I need some outside perspective on my problem.
I’ve been with my gf (looks like ex now) for just over a year. We don’t live close by (2+hour distance), but have planned to integrate our lives together by one of us moving.
We’ve had fall outs like any couple does, and it seems like it’s when we’re not together, for example text messages can often be taken out of context, which causes conflict. I’m a person that likes to stay calm and resolve conflict, but my partner is the opposite and becomes angry and says hurtful things. When I tell her about how her comments hurt me, she has the ability to try and turn it around and blame me.
Anyway, she is going through a family bereavement and I think it’s hit her quite hard, as we haven’t been the same since. I’m not sure how to vocalise this to her without it seeming like I’m blaming the bereavement to be the main cause of the break up. We had been messaging constantly since breaking up and even though she had been telling me that this was done, I said I was going to put my feelings and love to the side to be there for her to help deal with the bereavement. It got to the point where I had to look after my mental health and emotional wellbeing by distancing myself from the relationship. I said to her that if she feels we can work on this, or start from the beginning than she can message me to see if we can. Well, she messaged today and of course, my hopes went up as I thought that this is it, we can give this a go (I love this women a lot). It turns out that she still doesn’t want to give it a go and she messaged me because she missed me. I feel emotionally exhausted and I don’t know whether I just need to cut all ties.