I feel like this is abuse

[JJ456]

I just don’t know if I’m being dramatic and I don’t want to call it abuse if it isn’t but I hate my relationship at the moment.

A lot of the laundry and cooking and stuff is done by me mainly because I work from home. I don’t mind this as it’s far more practical for me to do a lot of the stuff, but I am getting a lot of criticism for it not being good enough to the point where I feel really down and almost scared of the next time I get something wrong.

So tonight for just one example I was meant to be following a recipe and I forgot an ingredient which I do a lot because I’m trying to cook and work at the same time. Food was totally edible. Partner has a go at me and goes into a huff because ‘all I’m asking is for you to follow a recipe’.

Then asks if I’ve done a wash today before we go away for Christmas. I say I haven’t as the washing we’ve hung has not dried. Partner looks at me with daggers and storms off. Then goes on about how I am useless at the washing, when I was doing it it all got done etc. Then tonight another one about the washing, the basket is too full and going gross cos our baby gets food over clothes a lot. Bear in mind I do a wash nearly every day it’s just hard in winter to get everything dry.

Whenever I mention about not wanting to be treated this way they say ‘I’m allowed to be annoyed, I’m allowed to have feelings’. And it’s like well yes but they’re always negative and always about me.

Am I justified in thinking this behaviour is abusive? It’s constant criticism not just about my behaviours but about me as a person. And there’s no balance - if I defend myself it leads to more criticism and ‘why won’t you let me have feelings’.

Also feel disrespected in other ways. Using tonight as an example I said I want to go to bed early I’m not feeling well. Partner insists we go to bed together and keeps saying ‘just another 5 mins’ til it’s been an hour. They know I’ll be up with the baby in a couple of hours and won’t help.

My mum is also upset with me as we’re only visiting a few days for Christmas as partner doesn’t want to go for too long. She said can I ask if me and baby can stay longer but I’m too scared to do so as the answer would be no and it would trigger an angry tirade.

I just don’t really know when it tips over into bad territory. I’ve made a post recently about how I feel totally trapped financially in this relationship. So I don’t really know what to do.

Yes it's abuse 😞

If he's there with you, you should ask him to leave in front of your mum. They don't tend to act up in front of others. However, if he refuses you can call the police and say that you feel threatened. My advice is to stay with your mum until you're able to leave the situation.

I think the partner is a woman. Still appalling, and you need to get her to leave you and baby at your mums while you make a plan

Huge abuse.
Contact Women's aid for support.
You need to get away.

Hi please help if you can .I need to make sense of my relationship. I've been with my partner five years but new him at school.He was amazingly caring eight month's in he'd told a huge lie ten lots of little stupid ones.He drinks so much and he's never happy. My daughter has come out of an abusive relationship and I've made it plain she and dont the kids are my priority. He's made a total mess of my garden and yesterday said I couldn't take the kids out until I had helped with a long list of jobs like lifting slabs.I asked if I could go when I'd helped and he got angry and gave me more jobs.In the end we just went and had a lovely time.Got back to find him waiting on the door step.I packed some stuff and went to my daughters for the night.She says it's abuse but I don't really don't know what to do just that I'm putting my daughters and little ones first.It a long post I know but I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts and experience

Sorry just read that back and realised there's so many typos it doesn't really make sense but he basically told me I couldn't go out with the kids because there was to much to do.Came home to him waiting on the door step because I'd obviously been out to long.we only went to the play park and mini golf. I actually found myself saying when ive helped with all the jobs can I go out,he just gave me Moore jobs cindarella style.