DH and I are in our 60s and thinking about retirement. We have always had separate finances which I was very happy about when we first married but as soon as children came along I found it difficult to be main carer and still pay a hefty chunk of the bills. It caused a huge amount of stress at the time.
There has been a lot of resentment on both sides over the years and I did consider leaving at one stage but we are past that now. We get on well, have a laugh and love each other. I want us to look at having some fun and adventure in this next stage of our lives as well as continuing to support our family.
My issue is that my pension will be tiny compared to DH’s because of all those years of trying to work flexibly around a large family (some of our DCs also have additional needs) rather than continuing a corporate career. I am so worried that if I can’t keep some sort of work going we will go back to how things were.
I have no say over what he spends ‘his’ money on (although to be fair he has no say on how I spend ‘my’ (much lower) income either). I have tried talking to him about it. He just avoids the conversation other than to say he’ll be alright financially when he retires! Great! He earns a good salary and is VERY generous with the family and with gifts and will give me small amounts of money if I ask. But otherwise he will only share what he considers enough to pay a fair proportion of the bills - no matter what.
For context: looking at our children it is likely that we are both ND but neither of us have a diagnosis.
My health isn’t brilliant, I don’t think I can work until I drop and this is really stressing me out. How do I get this sorted? Anyone been in a similar situation? Is it too late to change? Any advice welcome. Thank you.