It's never a good sign when you start writing a list of all the things your husband does that annoys you is it?

[Shefliesonherownwings]

These are all small things in the grand scheme of life but the bigger picture is that I am increasingly fed up with the lack of appreciation and respect being shown and the default position of 95% of house work and 99% of children admin falling on me. Don't get me started on the failure to communicate and actual listen to me when I try and voice that I am upset/annoyed/fed up etc...

The things on the list seem so petty but they are tipping me over the edge. I know if I say to DH that I'm annoyed at the hair you left around the bath after I spent ages scrubbing the bathroom, he will think I'm being ridiculous to be so worked up abut it but it's the cumulative effect. It was only writing it all down that I saw why i'm feeling so annoyed about all this. Problem is he will just get defensive and see me as attacking him so we can't really have a meaningful conversation about these things. Just needed to vent tbh, not sure what i'm really looking for here, some solidarity maybe. 😒

Think for most people - you end up each having things you do, don’t do, your routines and what is ‘normal’. But it’s rarely actually agreed or decided on, it just develops and morphs over time. So you need to have that meaningful conversation about what your normal should be, if you’re going to change it. Just don’t let it fester!