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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex of 4yrs nearly

4 replies

LuckyHiker · 19/12/2024 12:28

I need too get this off my chest really hence why I’m writing on here , my head is just here there and everywhere at moment

Me and my ex we have 2 kids with eachother we’ve been broken up for nearly 3months now and he’s been just staying at home with me and the kids until he can find somewhere stable too live.
He had told me to go out 2 weeks ago on a weekend which I did with my friend and stayed at hers until 11am after our night out and came back home to him and kids at 12 but he had accused me of sleeping with somebody and because I went to the toilet when I had got in he accused me of flushing all the “c*m” out of me saying he’s not dumb. Texted me on that morning too and said if I’m not back in the morning time then just to stay out and moaning how I didn’t respond to him for 2hrs from 3am (I was drunk having a good time with my friend)

He says he was like this because in the past when I was meant to be going out with my friend I had messaged a guy and told him id meet him later on that night (not In that way whatsoever) but me and him were on a break that time or had broken up. We did end up getting back together later on down that line sorted it all out.
But I really haven’t got the time and day for men anymote all I’ve been wanting to do is see my friends again build my bond back up with him and make sure my kids have a good life

He went out a week later with his friends, (last weekend) he was drinking loads that night he said , he came back at 2-3pm when he had said the morning time , was gloating how him and a few people went back to stay at his mates house and how big his house is etc etc.. but anyways it sort of got me down how he was going on about all this and basically I couldnt talk about my night was I just got accused and spoken too in a rude way.

He randomly says last night he thinks he needs to go hospital he’s getting blue balls says as we haven’t had sex for 3months and he needs to release himself and said he’s hinted at me enough times so I told him to go to the bathroom then if he thinks that he needs hospital for that and do what you need too do

And then said nah he can’t be asked then asks if I’d be ok with him having sexual intercourse with somebody over the weekend so I said to him why would I want to know that and it’s not my decision what you decide to do so he says he wasn’t asking me to decide he was just asking if I’d be ok with him doing that and saying
if we was too hook up with someone over the weekend asking if I’d be open about it or want to be open about it or just to keep it to ourselves and I just said too him like I’m not going out over the weekend just too sleep around with people I wanna have a good time with my friends like honestly I’m fine going without wtf and says nobody uses protection these days so he asking if I’d be ok with it before something like that does happen and so there’s no friction between us after , I did ask him where’s he’s randomly going to find that unless he’s had somebody there already lined up for him but he just told me no anywhere like a club or the pub …

Just because I broke up with him doesn’t even mean I don’t love him anymore I had too do it for the good reasons I just don’t understand why he’d talk too me like this about hooking up with people already I don’t get it like of course I wouldn’t be ok with it deep down but I wouldn’t shout or say anything to him about it and of course I’m not going to say to him yes I want u too hook up with someone because that love is still there but I had too break up with him.
what the hell is this even all about ? It’s just making me feel really stressed out now for some reason and I don’t know why

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 19/12/2024 12:32

Because he is a dickhead, the sooner he goes the better.

LuckyHiker · 19/12/2024 15:42

Right

OP posts:
TheSandgroper · 19/12/2024 16:05

There is another thread running here currently and the OP has a line “OK, let me know how that goes” and that is her standard answer to everything.

Find something extremely innocuous and make that your standard answer to everything. Don’t say “let me know how that goes” because your fucker will probably tell you about his blue balls with relish. Try “very well”. (He says “I have to go to the hospital about my blue balls”. You say “very well” and nothing else). Old fashioned polite, short, doesn’t invite anything more. And repeat and repeat and repeat.

vodkaredbullgirl · 19/12/2024 16:20

Thought it was familiar

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