Am I overthinking this

[Mirrormirror47]

Some months ago we went to the races with a few of my husband's friends, I didn't know then really well.
One of them said oh I like your dress, I said oh I got it from Debenhams in the sale it was a bargain. I then went on to say along with my hat and shoes, they were also reduced. Then one of them said "STOP IT, you are making yourself look stupid now'" so I shut up and carried on sipping my wine, my husband didn't hear this.
I told him later and he said nothing, I asked why she would say this as clearly she didn't like me and was there anything ever going on between them, he said not.
Just seemed like a strong reaction and she said it quite aggressively am I overthinking?!

I spent the day with a relative yesterday. She says really mean random shit too. Horrible stuff that shocks you.

it’s them not you

She was very rude but a compliment doesn’t need a detailed run down of your outfit.

I just assumed she didn't like me for a reason ...

This happened a few months ago. Although what she said was rude and a but odd, the fact it's still on your mind months later would suggest there might be more to this.

What I mean is, perhaps by now you ought to have been able to chalk it up to her being a rude person and forgotten all about it. As you haven't, are you thinking there's more to it, perhaps that she likes your husband? Or are you someone who generally remembers things for years and keeps going over them?

If you can, chalk it up to her being a rude person. There's nothing you can do about that. It was about her not you. Try to forget it.

Because.....I saw a text from her friend to my husband saying " I know it's not ideal because X is coming along"

Yes, you're right, I do procrastinate!

Oh that puts it in a bit more context. Initially when I was reading this thread, I thought you were off your rocker as she could have just been a bit tipsy or just an unfiltered person who thought you were annoying. I couldn't see why you were making the leap to there being something between your dh and her.

But makes a bit more sense now.

Does he have form for cheating?

Unfortunately messaging other women yes....

I'm going to assume there is going to be a huge drip feed on this one.

Hmmm I'd be keeping an eye on things.

That said though. Sometimes nasty spiteful people are just nasty spiteful people.

Literally posted at the exact same time saying there must be more to this story as nobody would be bothered about a comment someone made months ago about your outfit...

So you think your husband is cheating with this woman OP?

No I honestly don't, but just wondered if I was being oversensitive.
I mean I asked if anything had gone on in the past which he denied but I feel sure that was otherwise why would her friend say that?
And why would she be so rude if she didn't dislike me?

In Isolation the comment the rude lady made means nothing - some people are just that rude unfortunately,

However - your instincts maybe telling you something. Your update mentioned he has messaged women in the past - which kind of changes things - and you will now get different responses depending on if people have read your entire thread. (which most people don't)

Generally I would say trust your instincts. You know far better than any of us whats been going on.

I would say based on him having form for messaging which is cheating in my eyes, then yes your gut could be right here. Also the text message you discovered about it “ not being ideal that X was coming”. Those are 2 critical bits of information.

Based on your updates I will say this woman is the least of your worries right now...

Well this is new information. Plus him having form for msg other women.

Struggling for an innocent explanation for that text. Do I assume X is the woman who was rude? Or was it you?

That text is what I would have been asking H about TBH. Or I would have kept quiet, and checked his phone later for his response.