next of kin ex and dp

[bodenpyjama]

How would you take a situation where your DP knows you do not have anyone to put as your next of kin yet he rubs it in how he has his children as next of kin but not you, he tells you you can not be his next of kin (in his view) and he does not offer to be your next of kin.
Yet you tell your ex DH that you are facing this problem (not having anyone to put on the list) and your ex says - I will be your next of kin.
DP and I is more of a companionship than a relationship, it never felt as a relationship. My exDH doesnt know I am in this.
how would you feel?

DP is a twat. Get rid!

In what way is he your partner? Don't dignify this twat by describing him as a partner, he's a man who you're casually seeing. Are you sure you want to carry on seeing such a callous person?

Ditch him

I’d realise what an arsehole he was. How my ex is a far better person.

And I’d leave him and would not look back.

I will add that DP dropped on few ocassions how 'of course I will care for him when he is old' whilst exDH has a lifetime condition and never mentioned he expects me as his carer. I was foremost his wife.

Well he's not a partner, is he? Just an unpleasant man who doesn't seem to like you much.
I'd deal with it by removing him from my life.

Also, you sound very enmeshed with your ex husband. it sounds as though you're triangulating these 2 men, and comparing them. This is quite unhealthy behaviour.

I would suggest you spend some time alone, until you're ready to have healthy relationships

The DP is not a partner in any sense of the word. He is just a recipient of your free labour.
Get rid of him you will lose nothing and gain lots by putting him in the bin.

Do you really need a companion who doesn’t care about you?

How would I feel? I wouldn't be in a scenario where a companion would taunt me and I'd be fretting over something that cannot be solved.
Stop being friends with whoever the bloke is and stop pestering your ex husband.
Why are you worried about a next of kin?

@WhyDoesDenisNotRhymeWithPenis I am worried as I have no family. Would you not be worried if you had no family? And when I say no family I mean NO FAMILY. As for friends two of my close friends live abroad. I am a woman of a certain age and we do worry about things like that.

Ditch the current partner (who is useless and selfish) and unhitch yourself from your ex.

Women of a certain age are fearsome. Grow your own balls and you most certainly won't have to worry about these types of things.

I'm a bit confused about the situation here.
DP and I is more of a companionship than a relationship, it never felt as a relationship.
Are you in a relationship with this partner? Or not, Do you live together?

Why are you speaking to your ex husband about this?

exDH has a lifetime condition and never mentioned he expects me as his carer. I was foremost his wife.

Why on earth would your ex husband expect you to be his carer?? And what difference does that make to your question about next of kin?

Are you needing to confirm your next of Kinf or something specific ie a powerof attourney or something or is this just a general query. For example if you're just going into hospital and need to put a next of kin on a contact form - you don't need the person permission to list them so I'm not sure why you've had to ask your partner (if thats what he is) in the first place

How would I feel? I’d feel that current bf (not DP) was a twat and I’d kick his pathetic arse one kerb

Why waste your life with a wanker?