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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice on how to leave an unhappy/unsupportive relationship.

5 replies

Summersglow · 18/12/2024 19:00

Hello,
I suppose I'm writing this to get advice from others who have been in/are in a similar boat and are wanting to leave their partner but don't know what to do for the best.
Back story, we've been together five years, have a young child, live together, (in his house, I'm not on the deeds). We aren't married.
We sleep in seperate bedrooms, aren't intimate and I feel I am completely powerless in our relationship. We live in an undesirable location of which he won't move from. I'd like to be closer to my family and he won't budge. I work part time and am not in a financial position to private rent or buy a home but me and my child could stay with a family member. His family live locally and mine are 45mins drive away. I don't drive.
He works away a lot of the time and I am feeling isolated and pretty unsupported. My mental health has really suffered the past year as I have received little emotional support whilst trying to manage GAD. I feel I am not living life but simply longing for something to change.
I am desperate to be closer to my family but also desperate to not feel like I have no choice in mine and my child's future.
I should add that we could move as financially he is sound and owns other properties. It's just he just won't budge. Also, currently my childcare is family and they have to travel to me or vice versa.
I'm wondering about what support I'd get as a single parent and basically wondering if anyone can tell me a success story from leaving such a setup finding their own home in the current climate?
How you did it/what support you received?
Thanks

OP posts:
CryptoPrincess · 18/12/2024 19:03

How far away are your family? I assume you’d have to stay close for the sake of Childs school / co parenting?

CryptoPrincess · 18/12/2024 19:07

Sorry, saw you said they live45 mins away. Have you discussed separating with him? What would you do with sharing child?

Bollindger · 18/12/2024 19:11

Arrange it all.
A stay with family, over the holiday would work, then sign on ,look for a home and what help you can get, once you sort it all tell him, and get child support off him...
Make it done, so he either has to work to get you back and change, or accept it is already done.

Summersglow · 18/12/2024 19:27

Hi,
He agrees it would be better for our child to go to a school near my family (for pickups and close to cousins etc) Childcare arrangements haven't been discussed just yet as I'm not really at that point. I also dread that thought. He's just being extremely stubborn on the living arrangement front.

OP posts:
Summersglow · 18/12/2024 19:29

Bollindger · 18/12/2024 19:11

Arrange it all.
A stay with family, over the holiday would work, then sign on ,look for a home and what help you can get, once you sort it all tell him, and get child support off him...
Make it done, so he either has to work to get you back and change, or accept it is already done.

Thank you. This is solid, practical advice. It all just seems like a huge hurdle to overcome at the moment but feel I'm in a check mate position until something gives.

OP posts:
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