Husband favours nasty sister

[StillAliveAndKicking]

After several years of receiving the freebie giveaways (always crap) my sister in law doesn't want when she tops up her expensive make up purchase at xmas, she's now plummets to new lows. She's a princess always. everything her way and DH never stands up to her.
This year (after dumping my bday present at the front door a month late) she's said it's too expensive to buy Xmas gifts. she is loaded btw. so instead she bought London gallery tickets for herself and my husband and had a jolly day out with him. nothing for me. she is entertaining for 10 on Xmas day one if whom is my DH ex wife who she hated whilst they were married and there'll def be presents all round and a lavish celebration. we aren't invited.
when I spoke to my husband about the gallery trip he was dismissive and said it wasn't a slight on me. I don't care about presents at all. it's about respect and kindness esp by my DH. this year I used 4 days annual to drive to his sisters sons wedding in Scotland. I didn't want to go and it cost a lot. I did it for him. we've also had other legal issues that I have supported him with this year and adjusted my stance to be kind.
I'm hurt he doesn't see that she's being a completely selfish woman. we already had her Xmas gift which I said we should give her but DH said no cos she didn't want to exchange gifts. This has happened year after year of unkindness towards me. why doesn't he see? I'm so upset I want to break up with him!

He sounds awful! It sounds like the dynamic with his horrible sister, while dysfunctional and understandably unpleasant for you, is only part of the problem. If you think you’d be happier without him you don’t need anyone’s permission to leave 💐

I don't really get it? She took her brother to a gallery without you, so what? I wouldn't expect my sister in law to host me for Christmas either.

I think it's fair enough to not do Xmas presents for each other and she can take him to a gallery without you. As you say, you did the drive for him not her. If he favours her over you then that's a DH problem as they say on here (so often!). You don't need to have much of a relationship with a SIL and certainly don't need to like or respect each other just because you both love the same guy in different ways.

(Maybe if you break up with him she'll start liking you too)

Thank you all for your comments so far. Edit update: DH and I had a useful discussion last night and he admitted how difficult SIL can be and he was sorry about the way she has treated me throughout the years. He said he doesn't agree with her values but she dominates so many situations and he feels it's difficult to handle her. We talked over that there are different responses to requests/orders given by SIL but I do expect him to have my back,even if he and I have different views on things, otherwise he just allows her to chip chip chip away at our union.
We are going to nip past their house on Xmas eve and drop a small but nice joint present as we still want to buy presents for them. He has also suggested that we suggest meeting somewhere reasonably lively for a drink and see if we can get the relationship with them backon track. I've agreed but I have said that any nasty comments by them towards me need to be shut down immediately in a pleasant but firm way and he must speak up.
We will see..I think I'm being generous but genuinely I want things to be nice and friendly if we can sort stuff out.....