Do I invest too much in the wrong people? -New Years Evem

[Rosiecidar]

So for many years I have spent NYE with a friend and we may do something with other people but look out for each other and include each other in our plans. We are both single and she has one sibling abroad who she will spend Christmas with but parents have died. Over the year I really feel more than any year I have looked out for her partly because of her dad passing...she went abroad with work for a week and coincidentally I had friends living in the same town who I contacted and asked to take my friend out ; they hadn't even met her before. I have invited to theatre and concerts when I have had comp tickets. I saw her a few days ago and she didn't mention NYE at all and simply said "see you in January" and did that more than once. To be honest I am quite pissed off, I think she could have just said what she was doing even if it couldn't include me or suggested to meet up after Christmas..she just really avoided the conversation...I just think maybe this friendship just isn't so important to her but she's fine to take the good, fun bits...

Have you other options for NYE? I’d get on and arrange something. She said see you in Jan, so she can’t complain.

going forward, do exactly what you WANT to do, not what you feel ypu ‘ought’ to do

If you have spent NYE with her for many years I think it would be reasonable to approach it directly and just say "so are we doing the usual for NYE?". Don't just leave it hanging or you'll both feel awkward. If she has made other plans that's fair enough but I don't think you would be doing anything wrong by just asking straight out.

The thing is there's not a usual as such, just a way we incorporate each other. So if I had an invitation for something I would check she wasn't going to be alone and find a way of including her.
It's less about New year's eve more that I feel I always look out for her and it dawned on me that she had her own plans and really didn't care if I was alone...

Did you ask her directly about it?

I think, if you've been good friends for s long time, it's worth having the conversation.

"Hey bud, what are you doing for New Year? Do you already have plans?"

@Rosiecidar
I saw her a few days ago and she didn't mention NYE at all and simply said "see you in January" and did that more than once.

This is hurtful, OP, especially given what you have done for her over the past year. I don't know why people do this kind of thing.

I wouldn't approach her about NYE - she's told you loud and clear that you're on your own. As a PP said, make your own plans.

And going forward, I would fade this connection.