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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cyber cheating

7 replies

hopeinlife1960 · 17/12/2024 22:04

My husband of 5 years has been cyber cheating. Started in 2020 soon after I gave birth to our first born. I was using his old phone when I discovered he had two separate Twitter accounts. On the one (under a different name) he was messaging women. I also found he was following busty women on Instagram and I unfollowed all those accounts. l didn't confront him then. Then this year I found out I was pregnant with our second born in April. I became terribly sick with hyperemesis and has struggled throughout the pregnancy with hypertension and severe PGP. In June I discovered again that he has been messaging women on X, Threads, Instragram, Telegram. Messages like "Hey cutey" "Hey gorgeous" and he has a type (huge bums and big boobs). I was mad and immediately woke him up and confronted him. He asked for forgiveness and deleted all the messages and promised he won't do it again. He said he was sex starved due to my pregnancy related health issues. I am really struggling to forgive him. I don't know what to do. I know nothing physical happened but cyber cheating is a form of cheating which I find inexcusable. I'm thinking of a divorce but I feel sorry for my son and our soon to be born second born. AIBU?

OP posts:
amiabadfriend7 · 17/12/2024 22:08

It is a form of cheating but I could forgive IF he went to therapy and agreed to controls around the phone ie deleting X. He needs to truly be sorry and understand his reasons for doing it (sex starved isn’t a reason, porn exists)

I would personally just be grossed out. How pathetic messaging women saying Hi Cutey. God.

Minnsmudge · 17/12/2024 22:20

I found my husband message v obviously AI sex talk was told it was my fault he was so upset that I almost died. Now he's on Facebook?! He did go with at least 2 women when I was v ill and has messaged them. Is Facebook just for old hookups?!!!

Dontletmedown · 17/12/2024 22:21

He is messaging other women. He is cheating on you. He sees women just as sex objects.
This behaviour has been going on for most of your marriage. It's who he is , he won't change.
Don't stay with him for the sake of your children OP. They deserve a happy mother and you can't be happy with a man who diesnt respect you and behaves like your H. He will chip away at your self esteem.

Rawnotblended · 17/12/2024 22:23

It’s an odd one. Apparently the vast majority of woman view this as cheating and the vast majority of men, don’t.

Minnsmudge · 17/12/2024 22:25

I know i always felt grateful to him. He's older and I feel I grew up with him. But maybe I'm older too!

DurinsBane · 17/12/2024 22:40

why is there 3 separate posters that seem to be answering like they are the op?

Wishyouwerehere50 · 03/04/2025 22:38

DurinsBane · 17/12/2024 22:40

why is there 3 separate posters that seem to be answering like they are the op?

Wtf is happening 😆

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