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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why am I like this

3 replies

PheasantPluckers · 17/12/2024 19:37

I know this is a question for deeper analysis and probably a therapist to properly address root causes, but just wondered what your take is on this madness and whether anyone can relate?

I don't know why this is, but whenever I've had a couple of positive dates with a new man I find myself constantly on edge, waiting for him to message. I'm not generally over-invested, I'm not thinking they're 'the one' or inventing a fantasy future or anything like that and I wouldn't even feel particularly disappointed if they weren't interested in another date, but for some reason the wondering whether they like me causes me low level stress.

I don't know if it's the constant 'online' culture and the feeling that everything is instant these days that makes the pauses feel anxiety inducing.

I don't feel that way in any other area of my life, I'm not usually one to be bothered about people liking me, but the I have always made female friends easily. Why am I being so weird?

For reference, I'm mid 40s, a couple of years out of a v long-term relationship, never done the dating apps previously. The last time I dated, we went out with friends and people chatted is up. Is this just a crisis of confidence?

OP posts:
PheasantPluckers · 17/12/2024 19:43

Just to add, I don't double message or harrass or anything. I tend to put them on mute so that I don't see their notifications unless something else comes through!

OP posts:
Mmhmmn · 17/12/2024 19:59

I don't know that what you describe is that unusual, OP. Dating just can be a bit like that.

PheasantPluckers · 17/12/2024 20:03

I've probably just forgotten, it's been a very long time 😂

OP posts:
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