What can I do to find the right partner

[DreamyPeachReader]

Ladies, firstly I’m a male and I have read many of your threads and like the way you discuss issues openly. Men would never be this open.
Recently I lost my wife of 46 years and am facing a lonely future alone. At the age of 73 I did not expect this. I have visited dating sites but they just seem to want money by sending spurious leads. I am due to start at the local gym in January which should help take my mind off my loneliness. I would appreciate any suggestions.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your wife.

I am only going to suggest the usual channels of joining clubs/groups that you are interested in. Even if you don't find romance, you will hopefully meet people with similar interests for friendship. Personally, I know a few people who have met partners in mid/later life through walking groups... ?

I've also noticed a lot of people (after divorce, separation or bereavement) "re-connect" with someone from their past. Are you on Facebook or similar? (I don't blame you if you aren't 😅)? I've actually seen a couple of people get together with old friends they've re-connected on there.

Good luck and again, condolences.

I know a much older gentleman (early 90s!), who lost his wife and has had a string of various girlfriends since. He met them all on cruise holidays.

It’s never too late and I’m sorry for your loss. It must be hard after so many years together.

Sorry about your wife.
There is a site called 'Our Time' which might fit the bill.
A lot of women in their 70s and over may prefer a "Living apart together' relationship where you each keep your own space (homes)

Ourtime is for older age group but it’s a paying site and you don’t really get much for your money.

Thera are free dating sites - try Bumble and Hinge which are two of the better ones.

My personal advice would be look for women a similar age. Most women in the 50’s have had messages from men 15/20 years their senior and it’s not really what most of us are looking for.

Good luck though. I’m sure there’s a lovely lady out there.

I think you’re too old for the gym, go for a walk

Thanks for all your replies. Interesting comment about walking instead of going to gym. Advise from my doctor, light weights, Pilates and yoga will help to keep strength and mobility.
I’m interested in TwistedWonders comment. What do ladies want from a male friend? I can understand being 20 years older might be a turn off, but 10 years or less. Ideally I would like to find somebody around mid sixties.

Rude.

Is it worth putting an add in local newsagent shop? Joining any local groups and seeking hobbies? Nothing to lose! Good luck I hope you find a lovely companion.

Sorry to hear about your wife.

If there are women in walking groups, they're usually around 60 years old +, so that's a good place.

However, bear in mind that just because you're looking for a romantic partner that's around 7 years younger than you, but it doesn't mean they are.

Many of those women will have spent most of their lives caring for other people, including running around adult men. Some of them will be done with relationships altogether, finding depilating and now they want to focus on themselves. They might be extra suspicious of a man specifically looking for someone younger than himself, especially.

Men typically die younger than women, even if they're the same age as them, so if they decide to be with someone several years older, they are very much increasing the likelyhood that they'll face old age alone sooner than they would like.

Of course he’s not and doing what his doctor has suggested will keep him active and mobile for even longer!

Not to detail the thread but had to call out your nasty comment.

@DreamyPeachReader is there a U3A group in your town? (University of the Third Age.) There are all sorts of local interest groups and events under the U3A banner.

My mother (78) goes to everything from wine tasting to board games to spiritualist discussions and skittles!! In her town there are art and craft groups, film appreciation, gardening, lunch clubs, language classes, yoga - I could go on!

Try not to focus too much on looking for a relationship and try and explore friendships first.

join local groups. Walking groups, church groups, meet up for coffee and cake groups etc. if you’re not sure where to find them ask in your local libraries, council offices, on Facebook, community centres.

At your age in a friendship I would be looking for someone who would like to go out for dinner, cinema trips, walking, coffee dates.

Age UK may be a good charity to get in touch with who could help point you in the right direction of local meet ups.

good luck. Everyone deserves companionship.

A widower I know met his new partner by joining a walking group. Lots of healthy people/women who enjoy a hike in the country and a pub lunch.🚶

Thanks for all your comments they are appreciated. I’ve visited several dating sites but they do frighten me. I fill in my profile then get matches which I respond to with no reply. Interestingly the match’s range from late sixties to late seventies. The site then asks to join by paying a fee. Am I trying too hard or should I just go with the flow?

What do ladies want from a male friend

I'd say most want a male friend the same age. If you aren't sure why they'd want this, think of the reasons you aren't open to dating a woman aged 80+. It's the same reasons.

I am 70 and sad to see even older men being ageist against women.

@RetroTotty I had sympathy for the poster until he mentioned he's looking for a younger woman💀

Stop looking for a younger woman! In fact don’t think about what you ‘want’, wait til you’ve met someone you like and click with and take it from there.

The gym sounds good. Pilates is great exercise and the ratio of women to men tends to be high. It will also help you feel more confident, better posture etc.

I agree with pp, focus on making friends first, and if possible (I realise it must be very hard after a long marriage) try to avoid focusing on loneliness. Get to know yourself and what you like. Spoil yourself a bit. Learn to enjoy your own company, and spend time with friends. Good luck.

I didn’t realise it was rude or nasty. I imagined the gym would be too strenuous and I’ve heard that walking is much more gentle

Rubbish !!
go to gym.if you want

my dad was at the gym the morning he died age 89!! He had mobility issues but did the right exercises for him
Gym to your abilities

Why would you want somebody in their 60s?

Try groups like u3a, local phoenix groups, website restless, and look at the local library for local groups. Lots out there. Build a network of friends- also look at volunteering.

You'll find that women in their 60s won't want to date an older man.

My parents are in their 70s and met similar aged friends at the pub quiz. Church events, not just services, would be a good one too. If you have a local Rotary club, they now have female members too.

I think getting involved with the community, maybe volunteering, would be a great way to meet people, friends as well as ladies. I did this when I was single and eventually met my husband that way. I had a great time and made lifelong friends.

As someone who is almost in your chosen age bracket, I can't say I'd be looking for a man in his 70s so good luck with that! My suggestion would be to walk a dog for a friend - find the right spot and it's very sociable plus you'll be exercising. I second the suggestion of u3a - I've come across a few groups out and about & they seem like a lot of fun.