Is it lost love?

[StillThinking20yearsLater]

So when I was 17 I married (B), it was a toxic marriage, we just weren't good for each other.
He was abusive to me I took revenge by having an affair. Problem was that affair was with his best friend (A).
Marriage broke up 7 years later.
Affair was still going. Honestly I think I stayed in the marriage just so I could be with A.
He has been the only man I've ever truly felt in love with. He gives me butterflies whenever I see or hear from him.
When my marriage broke up A was in a relationship, so I met someone else.
We spoke over the years, one of us always drawn to the other.

I finally drew a line through this, guessing it was not meant to be.
But recently, after 10 years of no contact, he has messaged me again.
Those feelings are all still there and he said he's never stopped thinking of me.

It's now been 26 years since we first met and started our 'relationship' or whatever it is.

Is this a lost love? Does the fact he's sought me out after so long mean he loves me too? Or is he just wanting an ego boost?

We live 100's of miles apart now but I can't help thinking "what if".

My kids are teens and I couldn't break up their world, so I don't know why I'm asking. I guess I just want to know if it could be love. True love.

No. Any man that will sleep with his best friend's DW isn't worth the time of day.

Has he recently separated?

It’s irrelevant surely, if you’re in a committed relationship?

I actually don't know. I'm not sure whether to ask or just to leave it. As in not engage.

Or ask why now. I am curious as to why now, after all this time.

Yes totally irrelevant, but that doesn't stop me wondering.

How has he tracked you down ? Fb or insta ? Or soemthing or still got the same number ?

These ^^ posts are on a loop/repeat, always the same scenario, always the same
hesitant questions tinged with hopeful romantic notions, always the same exasperated responses, always the same outcome.

shrewd !

OK fab, so what is the outcome?

Love or just an ego boost?

FB.
It's an old account but It has all my old photos on, so I check it periodically.

But we all have other people we could have been happy with. Normal to have roads not taken. I wouldn’t read too much into him contacting you again — could be any number of reasons. Nostalgia, boredom, a recent break-up, a desire for no-strings-attached sex etc.

Love or just an ego boost?

Ego boost, and maybe a shag. It's not love - if it was love you would already be with him.

No. It’s not true love. It sounds like he was your first love, and you never forget your first love. But no. If it was true love you’d be together, not just conducting illicit affairs when one or both of you is single or unhappy in their relationship.

You do have a true love in your life though. It’s your children. Perhaps stop wondering what your life would be like if they didn’t exist (because that is what you are doing here with these “what-ifs”) and live in the present. If your relationship isn’t happy then either end it or wait it out until the children are grown up, but don’t engage with this guy. You’re playing with fire.

Thank you.
I think this is exactly what I needed to hear.

A swift kick back to reality. Thank you!

I think he’s recently split up and is looking for support or just an ego boost.

If he wanted a proper relationship with you he would have took the opportunity when your marriage ended. And it’s not hard to find people on social media nowadays.

A shag!!!