Should i send flowers and a Christmas card?

[Cindy1990]

5 months ago I met a very kind loving man (referred to as the boyfriend). He is divorced with 3 children. I am separated with a daughter. The reason why i am separated and not divorced yet is that my ex husband is complicating the divorce process.

My relationship with the boyfriend was magical at first. I loved him so much. However after a few months, problems started escalating with my husband regarding the divorce and the custody so I started taking it on my boyfriend to the point that he couldnt bear all my anger anymore and requested politely to end the relationship despite my attempts to fix the situation.
Its been a month now since our break up.
He still checks up on me and my daughter once a week but doesnt ask to come back.

My question is: Should i send him flowers and a Christmas card before Christmas eve? Would it seem desprate?

I started taking it on my boyfriend to the point that he couldnt bear all my anger anymore and requested politely to end the relationship despite my attempts to fix the situation.

Good for him. No you should not send him anything.

Leave him alone

Would you be doing it as a simply friendly gesture, or in the hope that it will win him over and he suddenly decides he wants to try again? The latter is a bad idea: you aren’t in the right place to be in a relationship with somebody whilst you’re still not divorced and haven’t worked through things enough not to take your anger out on people who have no blame in any of it. Get your life and your head sorted out first so that you don’t behave badly again in future relationships.

You're probably right. He deserves to be treated right.

You met him five months ago and split up a month ago - he probably thinks your anger was too much drama for a short four-month relationship. Given you saying that you ‘loved him so much’ I tend to think he’d be right. You sound a bit full on, I’m afraid!

Agree with PP to get the divorce sorted, have some time on your own and only date when you’re in a better place.

In the space of four months your relationship deteriorated to the point where he wanted to end it.
Leave him alone.

In school I delivered flowers for petrol & spending money.
I can say with confidence that people love to get flowers.
Make sure to address the card to him and his family and sign it from you and your family.
Don’t schmaltz it up - be light and airy and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
I think that’s very nice of you - just get a medium-sized Christmas bouquet.
They’re outrageously expensive now.
Merry Christmas 🎄

I just wanted to send him something as an apology or as a kind gesture for my behavior.

Then I would suggest not sending them.

A happy Christmas bouquet, yes — an “I’m sorry I was a jerk” bouquet, no.

It’s Christmas. Leave it at that.

Good point

As you are still in weekly contact - hopefully instigated by him sometimes, not just you - it could be ok to send a card. But don't be gushing in the words, I wouldn't even put 'love from'. In fact, best wishes seems appropriate, it shows more respect and is not OTT. Forget the flowers, that comes across as crawling for forgiveness. Even if that's what you feel you want to be doing, it won't be a good look fro his pov.

Exactly
ill just write: Best wishes for you and your lovely kids xoxo