Daughter and ex

[mcmen05]

My dd is at Uni and she was sharing accommodation with her bf of years
They recently broke up she has moved out.
She told me today that in April she found nudes from severa girls on his phone
He told her at the time his phone must have been hacked she believed him and they moved on but in September of their 3rd year at uni he said he didn't want to get a job to he finishes uni. She has worked since the day of her 16th they are now 21.
They had a fall out about him been lazy just watching TV and Playstation and the nudes came up and he admitted 6 months after she first saw them.
I'm very concerned about the photos and don't know if the girls are underage or what to do.
We included this boy in all our family holidays days out dinners he was like a son but so torn what to do.
Should I contact anyone about this.
My dd says not to do anything

Why would the photos be underage girls? I'm sorry he treated your daughter shabbily but 21 year old male with nudes on his phone is nothing to "do" anything about. Is there a reason you're leaping to underage girls?

I'd suggest all you do is support your dd through what is presumably her first heartbreak. Leave him to it. I doubt he's a bad guy, they are young and these things happen. I highly doubt, unfortunately, that he's the only young lad with nudes on his phone. But jumping to conclusions such as they are underage girls can have damaging consequences..best left alone, unless you have any real cause for concern.

Thanks for replies
My dd is not heartbroken about him
I just can't understand why anyone over 18 would send a nude photo maybe I. Just too old and a prude is the reason I thought it may be younger girls

I suggest you absolutely adore your daughter for standing up to this, whilst young, studying, working and a very strong young woman.

Forget him, concentrate on her. What an amazing young woman.

Leaving the nude photos out of it, he was showing himself to be a lazy arse.

Focus on the positives

@haje thanks for your kind words. I told her so many times he was lazy, he gets full student finance but she doesn't as we from ROI so she has to work. So he just sits in on Ps all his free time. She had to collect some stuff today from old apt and said the place was not clean

Be thrilled she has left him.

Encourage her to do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk and reads the book
"Women who love too much"...great stocking filler!

Re the nudes, there is nothing to do.

Just tell her to move on.

I think you've got caught by stand-out headlines about young girls being groomed for photos, and massively jumped to conclusions. It's newsworthy because they are underage, and because its not common, so is more notable. People over 18 sending nudes, doesn't make headlines and is not seen as shocking, because it happens a lot more often and is between adults. You've gone 0-60 on this in your mind. Put it behind you, it's unlikely that he's broken any laws.
Your daughter sounds great.

No reason at all why they would necessarily be underage - I was a complete idiot and used to send them as a young adult. Certainly don't anymore, not that anyone would want my fat, 40 year old nakedness 😂!
I think you do nothing - he's a standard run of the mill wanker and your daughter has learned than.

You just support your daughter the best you can. I can’t understand why you’re leaping to underage girls for photos, lots of women send them at all ages, I’m in my 20’s and I know me & my friends all have at some time or other, some still do now.

Thanks all
I just didn't think over 18s would send nudes.
My daughter seems much happier in her own studio and going out with Friends.

I just didn't think over 18s would send nudes.

And so you jumped to the conclusion that they must be underage. I’m glad your DD has moved on but you need to check yourself because thats one giant leap you made.

Lots of people send nudes. It’s not for me, but if they’re consenting adults, there’s nothing wrong with it.

It's such a strange leap to make, to suggest that the nudes could be of minors. Did your DD say something about what she saw that makes you think that?

I'm late 20s and everyone sends nudes. I say everyone as an exaggeration because I never have, but it's honestly so so common!

Loads do.