Where to get counselling for DV while still in the relationship?

[christmaslatte]

My lovely friend is in a relationship with an extremely violent and controlling man.

She knows she need to leave him, but she's stuck in the cycle of trying to get rid of him, then him worming his way back. He wears her down to the point she's just surviving day to day.

She knows intellectually that she's coping by disassociating from what's going on, and just getting by. And that what she needs to do is leave him for good as he's ruining her life. But she doesn't feel ready to get a restraining order on him, or go in a refuge or anything like that right now.

She says feel she could really do with some counselling, to help her understand why it's so hard to break away from him so she can change the pattern. But nothing seems to be available.

She's in touch with the local DV service but they seem a bit hit and miss, and no 1-2-1 counselling is availabl through them. There's also a local service that offers counselling and group sessions, but only after you've left.

She doesn't have the funds to pay privately - unless maybe it was heavily subsidised.

Can anyone recommend a way she can find someone to talk to?

It's awful seeing how unhappy he's making her. He's isolated her from most of her friends, and I'm really worried for her safety.

She needs to speak to the dv service about her house. If she has a salary job realistically she would potentially need to get signed off for a while to settle and agree a safety plan with her employer. She might choose to give up her house or move etc but it depends on safety factors. Men don't always respond in the way expected especially if they're arrested a few times for breaching a non molestation order.
If other family members are at risk then there need to be safety plans made for them too. Police markers etc. She can't protect everyone by staying in the relationship and she needs to speak to an idva this is the sort of work they do. With her sister really she needs to be open with services and with her sister so that her sister can be vigilant and not open the door to him etc.

This is true, yes, more local authorities seem to be doing this, putting them in housing teams especially.

It's a shame, OP, that your local service will only help if you take legal action. Some people just want to get away. I think the best bet would be for her to talk it over with someone from the National Helpline. She needs to know what the possibilities are, and the pros and cons of each. IMO that's what a DA service should provide, but hey.