How do you know it’s over?

[ellbigggb]

10 years together (on and off), 2 kids - had them very young.

trying to make it work for the sake of my children and them growing up in a 2 parent home (growing up with a single mum, I always wanted a ‘proper family’).

i just feel like we are now just friends and co-habiting. biggest reason for this thread is the lack of sexual chemistry - I’m just not attracted to him anymore, I don’t want to kiss him, have sex with him or anything of that sort. I think he’s started to get the hint as well, which makes me feel awful.

hes a good man, equally share responsibility of the children, household chores etc but another reason for my doubt is his relationship with money. He doesn’t see himself ever buying a house so has made it clear if we want to move, it’ll be me solely buying a house for us to live in. No engagement etc, all social activities he attends alone and doesn’t even ask me if I want to go, doesn’t see that we should do things like that together.

i just want to know, how you knew/know a relationship is over?

I should also add, that my lifestyle would drastically change if we were to split up. I work shifts so I’d have to factor in how that would work, I go to the gym most evenings (again, not something I could do if we separate) etc…

Sorry, OP, it sounds to me as if the relationship is already over. There is a better life ahead once you take the leap.

@ForTicklishSquid yeah I think you are probably right. Just been trying to make it work over and over again for the kids I suppose

@ForTicklishSquid no we live in my apartment, which I bought myself when we split up the first time

@villagecrafts that’s what I’m scared of I think, making the wrong decision, I can’t imagine my girls growing up with just me in the house - the last time we split up they were only a baby/toddler, they’re 8 and 5 now so I think they’d really notice an impact of their dad not being here

Definitely don't marry him!! Half your apartment would become his!!

Separate while it can be amicable. If your relationship has become non sexual, one or both of you will likely go elsewhere at some point, that's when things get traumatic.