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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend’s relationship issues

1 reply

MJconfessions · 15/12/2024 09:53

My friend & I are in our 20s. I don’t think her partner and I have ever had a conversation although we all went school together and they’ve been together for over a decade.

They are Muslim, I’m not. She is of a lower caste than his family, so his family don’t accept her as his equal or as a suitable life partner regardless of length of relationship. She also has a good job, he has been in/out of work.

My friend’s parents split up and her mum and siblings moved across England whereas her dad lives nearby. She used to live with her grandparents who passed away. Then she lived with her uncle until he sold the house. Due to desperation she moved in with her partner, including his parents/grandparents/brother/SIL. She’s had a tough few years.

His family tend to treat her like a maid, give her the household cleaning tasks and treat her less favourably to SIL who is their caste. My friend doesn’t get invited to family events like weddings or holidays. Her partner’s mum is rude to her, he doesn’t back her up. He also doesn’t seem invested in the relationship ie she wants to buy a house together, he doesn’t, she’s already saved the deposit so it’s a sticking issue. He doesn’t even tell her when he’s going on holiday with his mates.

so I feel she isn’t treated right, but if I say that she makes excuses for him. Sometimes he is really lovely to her, which makes her happy. So from my perspective, should I just let her rant to me but not give any input even if I’m concerned, because she seems happy overall?

OP posts:
ForPearlViper · 15/12/2024 14:55

There is a board for Muslim Mumsnetters with lots of wise women posting. You might find you get more helpful and insightful advice if you post there, or ask for your post to be moved there.

Although I suspect in the end the answer will be that all you can do is be there for her when she needs a friend.

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