Dating stress

[newgirl8487]

Long term reader, first time poster.

I'm 34 and recently dipped my toe back into the waters of online dating after breaking up with my long term partner. The quality of the men on the apps has been poor, with men ranging from seeming bitter that they are alone to men who just want to fuck and chuck. It has made me feel a bit depressed about the possibly of meeting anyone.

I went on a date on Friday and had such a good time. The guy was funny and interesting and we had such a laugh and amazing sex (I know, I know). He said he had a nice time too and that we would do something again.

We messaged a bit yday (he messaged first) with no date to meet again yet and I haven't heard from him since yesterday evening so I'm feeling a bit anxious. I know men are likely to be dating multiple women so maybe he's just not that into me.

Reading this back I realise I sound absolutely crazy. I've met this guy once and don't really know him but I have such a scarcity mindset around dating as the qualify of the men on the apps is so poor.

Help me get a grip??

@Unexpectedlysinglemum we did have a conversation about how we are looking for someone to settle down with but I am aware that men can lie...

@Unexpectedlysinglemum also in my last two long term relationships I had sex on the second date and it didn't affect things so I'm not sure there's any hard and fast rules?

I don't think it's the case that if he's into you and sees you as a gf he will be put off by 'early' sex (unless he is nasty with double standards in that case you don't want them)
More so that EVEN if he KNOWS he doesn't want to date you long term he'll definitely try to have a shag or as many shags as he can without committing before ending it with you. Whereas most women would think 'this isn't going anywhere I'll stop it now.'
So delaying sex is just a way to protect yourself from feeling used. As most who don't genuinely like you will give up and not bother when it's not easy (obviously there is the odd psychopath that will keep trying for kicks).

They can also be looking for that but doesn't mean they won't sleep with women they don't see that happening with in the meantime

@Unexpectedlysinglemum hmm yes I know what you're saying. I was actually thinking today of a guy I went out with about 6 times. He hasn't even kissed me by the 6th date, then we had sex and he didn't want to see me again! So I do think some men like the challenge. Ugh I hate all this second guessing.