I started dating this guy about a year and a half ago. He has supported he throughout some of the most challenging times of my life and it and helped me immensely. We had fights though and he'd always be very critical of me in those which has hurt me a lot but we got past all of that. Two months ago he began being distant to me and when i got anxious and questioned him he said he doesn't love me anymore and wants me to leave him alone. So I did and one week later he returned to talk with me seeming like the most changed caring man ever. There has never been any consistency in his behaviour. I won't say I am the best but his is just strange. Some days he'd act really clingy and shower with nice words and I love you's other days he'd be so distant won't even reply my text and when asked what's wrong he be like i am free to not talk if i want to and that I am too. I get the point but idk i usually don't bother him even when he is out with his friends and i know he's not going to respond. I am very respectful of that. He has a habit of substance abuse and says he doesn't want to quit it even though he knows that it's affecting him badly. Sometimes he says that he wants to but doesn't commit. Sometimes he says he'll change when i ask him to and even listens for a few days. Other days when I tell him to do it less he straight up says I can leave if I don't like it. Idk man. He just gives me anxiety a lot of times but other days he is the most calming person to be with. He got kicked out of his hostel because weed is illegal there and he and his friends got caught. He shifted to a new room. He said he won't take his habit there and didn't for a few days. Says he doesn't like his friends. Then after a few days he was smoking weed again there and when i reminded him that he said he won't this time he said if I don't like it I can leave. Maybe he doesn't care about me but at times when he says he does and even does so much for me I feel like he does. He says he loves me and sometime I feel like no one can love me like him. He helped me a lot when i dropped out of college because I was so down and I am really grateful for it. It is often harsh in his words but says that no matter what he says me i should know that he always loves me and is trying to change. He also seems depressed and i think that's why he can't get rid of the substance. He says it's due to the stress but it's hard of him to quit. The other day he got kicked out of the new room too. I didn't know that and ig he was feeling suicidal. I was talking about other petty stuff because i didn't know it was happening to him and ig it triggered him. He said i should leave him. I tried to talk to him but he never said anything just asked me to leave. He said he is a loser and that i deserve better. No matter how many times I called he wouldn't pick. Never answered any text. He said that he doesn't love me and I am confused because just one day back he was saying how much he loved me. I am confused and hurt. I think i should give him space and so I did. I agreed with the break up. I am very unsure about how this relationship was. If it was all true and just circumstances made him do it or if I was just played and he never had anything. Idk about the later because at times he did infact show his love. I want to talk to him to see how he is doing but he doesn't want me to. I think I will just wait and this time it seems like it has really ended.