My baby is 1 in the new year. I’ve been with my partner for 6 years, it hasn’t been the easiest relationship to say the least, he’s hard to live with and very set in his ways but has always provided me with stability payed off all the debts I had etc and we did have a lot of fun together aside from the bad times.
since we’ve had our baby really from the first week things have not been good. My mums stayed with us for a week and he rowed with her every step of the way (she is not the easiest to live with either) I had just had a c section and it was hard to deal with all of that and a newborn, fast forward 2 weeks and i haemorrhaged from infection and was rushed to hospital by ambulance had to have a blood transfusion and nearly died. The day I came home we argued infront of my mum again.
when my mum left things did improve. But they have never been how they were before. We constantly argue and he blames me for everything even though I’m trying my best. Don’t get me wrong I’m far from perfect and I do start some of the arguments but they are for things like he does no house work at all, has never got up with the baby ever and things like that. I cook from scratch every day and try to keep on top of the house.
he uses that he works as an excuse for everything even though he told me to give up work as I was I’ll throughout pregnancy and had previously miscarried.
the last 3 months have been hell. Arguments every day, he says he hates me and doesn’t want to be with me most days and as we were currently living at his mums he tells me to leave but then changes his mind a few hours later. We am due to move into a housing association property in the new year that’s under both of our names, a tiny flat but it’s 2 bedrooms and in my local area.
i have always wanted a family with about 3/4 children hopefully if we could afford it. I have a son and I worry that if we break up and eventually I move on my son will feel never at home with a different man in his life like an outcast(I’ve seen it to many times before with boys) I also want him to have siblings but full siblings so he wouldn’t feel so alone if I did leave.
my partner is saving to try and in the future buy us a house I feel like if I was on my own I could never do that my career wasn’t high income. I want to give my baby the best life and a home forever but I worry about how upset I am all the time from arguing and what example the way his dad treats me is setting for him.
i came from a home of severe domestic violence and even though I know his dad would never hurt me out of anger he even threatened to throw his phone at my face the other day. I don’t want my babies to grow up in that environment.
what shall I do to round it up. I kind of do want to leave but if I’m honest I wish we could have another baby first so my son wouldn’t be alone if I ever moved on. Is that crazy!