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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever had to help you move on or heal after a break up?

28 replies

HelpToMoveForward · 14/12/2024 19:51

I’m in desperate need of some advice on what to do next. I know I need to be on my own for a while but I need words of encouragement and practical advice please.

This time last year I posted on mumsnet about having the ick with my husband of ten years, I was so scared about what to do next but managed to save my house and have nearly full custody of my children (he’s not interested). I handled the end of the marriage well and although I was sad about my family unit breaking up I was so relieved I didn’t have to be married to him any more.

I met a man in February who healed me, made me laugh and made me feel beautiful again. I didn’t expect marriage or anything serious and enjoyed our time together, having fun and his support enabled me to rebuild my life. He has ended things this week due to, I believe, an ex coming back into his life and I am heartbroken. I have never felt so upset that I won’t have someone in my life anymore. How do I get over this? I have a good support network of friends, I joined the gym this year and have been going out socially with friends and family. But I’m just really sad. How do I get over this man who never did anything wrong and I was beginning to allow myself to see a future with?

OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 15/12/2024 16:01

Arrange this with your closest fronted - every time you want to text him, text her instead. Get her to remind you that a) you’re brilliant and b) how you felt in the immediate aftermath.

Also - keep a tally of “how many days since I was in contact”. If you text him, it goes to zero. Sounds daft, but it’s surprisingly motivating 😂 Then one day, you’ll realise you haven’t bothered updating your tally for a week…

HelpToMoveForward · 15/12/2024 22:22

Thank you all. I’ve had a lovely Christmassy day with my children today. He called me with some sob story but I just shut it down and told him I’m enjoying time with my children and not willing to talk to him.
I’m going to turn the sadness into anger and use that anger to fuel a new hobby. Looks like I’m back to day 0 of no contact but at least I can start fresh with a new week.

OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 15/12/2024 22:27

HelpToMoveForward · 15/12/2024 22:22

Thank you all. I’ve had a lovely Christmassy day with my children today. He called me with some sob story but I just shut it down and told him I’m enjoying time with my children and not willing to talk to him.
I’m going to turn the sadness into anger and use that anger to fuel a new hobby. Looks like I’m back to day 0 of no contact but at least I can start fresh with a new week.

And that’s ok.

Monday is Day # 1 🥰

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