Hello,
This is basically what it says on the tin: having read lots of excellent life/relationship/money/etc. advice on this website over the past little while, I thought I might seek some help from the hive mind myself.
I'm at a bit of a crossroads. I'm 29 in a month and in a career I don't particularly enjoy. It will provide a good pension (public sector) but progression is very slow. There is also very, very little to do, which I find difficult, as it leaves me with way to much time to think, and I am a worrier as it is. I'm also single and, although I've been living in the UK for ten years, it's not my home country and still doesn't really feel like home. I don't drive yet (I am taking lessons) and I have no savings. The private pension I built up before starting this job 6 months ago is very low (£10,000~). I am worried for the future.
I also have a big decision to make which is making moving forwards difficult: I have hit the point at which I either commit to staying in the UK or moving back to my home country.
If I moved home, I would start a new career in a slightly more exciting field, but I would be paid less for a few years, and the pension would not be as good (private sector). After that, career progression might be better. The cost of living at home is extortionate, and I would absolutely need to have a partner in order to buy a home. I am worried about the additional pressure this would put on dating. I also worry about any potential partners dating me: it seems almost unfair to go out with someone, knowing that they could be dating someone better off, considering how much of an impact earnings have in my home country (the cost of living is insane and I would be starting my career from scratch and saving intensely so I wouldn't be able to afford holidays etc.). Costs would make things like learning to drive and buying a car more difficult too, naturally.
Here, I could probably afford to buy eventually by myself but I feel I would still be somewhat reliant on a partner as I am not near any family. I have no friends at home but I am very close to my sister, who lives in my home country, and would like to be closer to my parents when they get older. Dating is also difficult here because I am so unsure about staying and because my job is starting to knock my confidence.
I am torn between accepting that I can't afford to live at home and taking a chance (essentially, taking a chance on the possibility of meeting someone at home).
People often say that I am still young, but I think that advice doesn't apply so much in today's economic situation: it seems essential to get things like house buying, savings, pensions, etc. sorted as soon as possible.
I would really appreciate any advice or ideas (it would also help if anyone who responds could give me an idea of their age, life circumstances, etc.). Thank you.