DH deleting messages to woman

[Wizzleedeedoodah]

The other night when DH was drunk, I walked into the room and he threw his phone on the floor, looking guilty. When he threw it, I saw a Messenger chat open with the name of a woman I have never heard of before.

His behavior suggested I wouldn't get the truth if I asked, so I had a look at the messages later that evening. The chat started randomly, as if there was some previous conversation. She knew what he had been doing that night and he was asking for her number so they could chat on WhatsApp instead.

There was no sexy chat. She was telling him she is depressed.

I checked again a few days later and again, all the previous chat was gone. Just a couple of messages from her asking why he keeps deleting messages and "who am I going to tell?". They have one mutual FB friend who I also don't know.

She's very much his type. No previous trust issues in the relationship. We have 2 kids together. What to do?

She's very much his type.

I wouldn’t be entirely sure on that point OP
she may be his “type” for a quick shag

I'm confused about this response! I don't know her, so I can only go off physically appearance. She's his type physically. Also, she's from a country he used to exclusively date from

what’s there to be confused about

“she’s very much not his type”

but it would certainly appear that on least one occasion…. she was

Also, she's from a country he used to exclusively date from

huh?

The original message says she is his type. I think you misread it

apologies

Have you asked him about it and who she is?

but Also, she's from a country he used to exclusively date from

is bloody weird

he sounds…. well generally a bit awful

please say no children involved?

Not yet, I'm not sure if I'll get the truth considering he is deleting messages.

I once had a latino phase, so I'm not judging him for that!

You have to ask him. If he won't tell the truth then that's an answer in itself.

If you ask him and you feel you're not getting the truth then he's more than likely cheating on you, either physically or emotionally. Then it's up to you what you do with that information.

you might not, then again… you married him so 🤷

@ThisBrickKoala I'd read the op again.

So sorry op it doesn't sound good. He sounds like he doesn't appreciate what he has. No advice sorry but plenty on here have been where you are and will be along to help 💐

Yeah, I guess it's hard to know what "truth" to expect, as he has been deleting messages. So I really have no clue if he feeds me lies or tells the truth. I'm not sure if the best thing is to keep on reading the messages for a while longer

I think the fact that he's deleting messages tells you he's saying things that he doesn't want you to read.

If it were me I'd tell him I know about him and whatever her name is and that I need him to leave today.

Thanks for this. I would need to get childcare in order first as one of our children is 2, and he takes care of her while I work.

I guess I need to start planning though, so when I ask I have everything lined up if needed

Okay, I had a chat with him, and it was really something quite innocent. I'm really glad I asked and he said he was too, as it had been bothering him that he had been keeping it from me. Panic over! Thanks for your inputs though

Just a couple of messages from her asking why he keeps deleting messages and "who am I going to tell?".

i can’t imagine

and now all resolved

the fact that you were so incredibly open to the idea that he’d cheat on you and even planning for it … says a lot about the ill health of the relationship

I never said my relationship was in great health. I certainly wouldn't be looking to MN for advice if it was.

Regardless, I'm happy with his response and believe he is being truthful. If you are not happy that the situation is resolved, whilst I appreciate your concern, it's not needed this time around.