Hi everyone , I just need somewhere to vent before telling family. This is my story ….i have just had a baby 4 weeks ago and found out my fiance has cheated on me on a night out . Let me start from the beginning I’m 33 and we have been together since we were 16 , we split up a few times from 16-19 as we were only young and only curious to see what else was out there. We bought our first house in our twenties and have then bought a few more houses together since then to rent out . Over the years there has been many occasions where I have thought he’s cheated only because he’s always hated going out with me on nights out etc we always went out more separately with our own friends and did have nights out together but with specific friends if that makes sense. I just accepted this from a young age as I knew no different .
how naive was I looking back now. Anyway we are now engaged with two beautiful babies . I love the bones off him still and it’s 18 years later .
he went on holiday abroad a few years ago with a friend for 5 days and came home with girls hair in his hairbrush ( I know everyone will think wtf why does he have a hairbrush) well it’s mine but he uses it . Anyway he always denied anything happened to this day and never told me the truth to this day just said it’s nothing to do with him (implying it’s the friend been up to no good) and I was to trust him. I did throw him out for a few days but I really missed him and we ended up back as normal and I had forgiven him and moved past it . Since then I just never really trusted him, it’s like the years of wondering if he he was cheating were coming true. He doesn’t seem the type of guy who would cheat and Iv always had insecurities and I do think that’s my own issues . I have never been one of those women who give him a hard time or anything but I always had little niggles about cheating and had my reasons. Anyway I gave birth to a beautiful little one 4 weeks ago and on Saturday he was out with friends . I called him at night and no answer . My pet hate he never texts and calls me when he’s out to even let me know when I can expect him home, he left at 1pm and walks in the door at 3am. We aren’t children anymore we are mid 30s and have a young baby, am I wrong for expecting some respect to let me know when your coming home. Anyway after the hair brush instance two years ago I have been trying to rebuild the trust , don’t think eh realises how much it hurt me and I started tracking his mobile about a year ago on find my iPhone without him knowing . So last weekend I tracked him after I tried to call him and he was at someone’s house . I thought oh they have had a party fine they will all be there not bothered . Anyway when he comes in he says there were at bars all night and all together. Something just doesn’t sit with me, he’s off and I had a gut instinct he had cheated so weird. I went through his phone and his friends had messaged and called him saying where are you etc etc. I felt so sick to my stomach I knew had been with someone . The tracker showed him at a house for around 1/2 hours then back to a bar. So I got the courage and just bloody drove to the house the other day: put a not through the door and spoke to the woman. I didn’t tell her who I was and made up a story about something to try get some information without her not telling me the truth. Anyway right enough he went back to hers and they then went back to the bar together until it closed .She never said yes we had sex but she said yes he came back to mine so that’s all I needed to know. I didn’t want to tell her who I was or who the man was incase she didn’t tell me . Anyway I feel sick now I know and I’m literally sleeping beside him right now. I have a 4 weeks old baby and he’s went and had a one night stand how the hell could he do that and now I just feel he’s been doing it for years just never got caught honestly . I’m heartbroken I don’t want to split up but Iv been a mug and I just need to . It’s like I don’t know anything else and don’t think I can cope on my own . I want to tell a family member but I want to wait until Christmas is over I don’t want to ruin it for my children.
im on maternity leave and self employed so I need to be clever here I don’t want to confront him sadly and not be able to afford to live if he had to leave the family home or anything I’m stuck I dno what to do seriously I just need to talk to someone.