Divorce

[Constance1643]

I've told my husband of 30 years that I want a divorce. We have been unhappy for a long time. After therapy for many years I now feel able to separate and move on. My husband has not reacted well. He has threatened suicide if I leave him, then denied it. He has threatened to take me to the cleaners financially, tried to make me feel sorry for him, pretended to be unwell etc etc. I'm pretty sure this is manipulation and control. Has anyone else experienced this and did you move out while the divorce is sorted out? My solicitor has advised me not to but not sure I can cope with many months of this

Unfortunately his reaction is fairly typical. They seem to run through a range of different options, presumably on the basis that one of them will push the right button and they will regain control of the situation and you.

I was fortunate in that my ex eventually moved out, but he still tried to control and manipulate. You need specialist help to deal with it. I had support from Women's Aid which was very helpful and enabled me to put everything into perspective and gain distance. You may find it useful to read "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft. Once you see through their behaviour, it's much easier to deal with it.

Thank you so much for your reply, that is so helpful

Sorry to hear that, did he make life unbearable at home? I think I will probably have to do the same against the solicitors advice

Hi I on the verge of leaving my martial house

maybe get a second solicitor opinion because in most cases moving out makes no difference to financial outcome. Unless there’s a backstory where it was originally your house or there are other dependents living there.